{"id":379,"date":"2005-11-30T15:42:35","date_gmt":"2005-11-30T19:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/?p=377"},"modified":"2005-11-30T15:42:35","modified_gmt":"2005-11-30T19:42:35","slug":"i-am-so-screwed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/2005\/11\/30\/i-am-so-screwed\/","title":{"rendered":"I am so screwed."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Well friends and family, welcome to my day in hell.  I&#8217;ve gotten clogged in the lines of beurocracy. <\/p>\n<p>Friday is my birthday, which means two very important deadlines come about.<\/p>\n<p>First: After Friday, I will be able to rent vehicles from rental agencies without paying an under age penalty fee.  WHEE!<br \/>\nSecondly: I need to renew my driver&#8217;s license, preferably attain a New Jersey driver&#8217;s license. <\/p>\n<p>See the dilemma yet? let me lay it out for you.  If I don&#8217;t renew my license, I can&#8217;t rent a car.<br \/>\nhere comes the kicker, I can&#8217;t renew\/transfer my driver&#8217;s license because I do not have a primary form of identification.  WHAA!?! PRIMARY FORM OF IDENTIFICATION?!? Oh and out of state driver&#8217;s licenses are not considered primary forms of identification.  Apparently the only primary form of identification I qualify for is the good ole official copy of your birth certificate.  I don&#8217;t have one of those anymore.  Rita came and took it from me.  SO! what is a man to do?<\/p>\n<p>I know I Know&#8230; fly down to Lafayette Louisiana, talk to the hospital that gave birth to me those 25 beautiful years ago, and get an &#8220;Official Copy&#8221;.  Too bad I&#8217;m broke.  So what use is a driver&#8217;s license?  OHhhh right I cannot get on an airplane with a plane ticket I purchased because my &#8220;picture id&#8221; will be out of date&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;. SOOOooooooo I&#8217;m fucked.<\/p>\n<p>want to hear some more catch 22s?<\/p>\n<p>So we got this holiday coming up called Christmas.  I currently make just enough money to maintain all my bills and eat paycheck to paycheck. I was planning on getting a better job BEFORE Christmas so I could maintain my previous quota for gift giving, but after purchasing the flights to Louisiana and with my brother&#8217;s visit scheduled for after Christmas my slush fund for presents has deteriorated severely.  SO  I do in fact get a job before Christmas, but it starts so late in December that I will not receive a check before Christmas.  In fact I will not receive a check before the beginning of the next month which is when rent is due.  So so so so so&#8230; Christmas unf will be small and quaint.  I hope my family understands that my presence (sp?) is one of my presents to them.<\/p>\n<p>Oh well other then those two little quirks I&#8217;m doing very well.  Michelle is coming up on the 16th.  I&#8217;m excited.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Well friends and family, welcome to my day in hell. I&#8217;ve gotten clogged in the lines of beurocracy. Friday is my birthday, which means two very important deadlines come about. First: After Friday, I will be able to rent vehicles from rental agencies without paying an under age penalty fee. WHEE! Secondly: I need to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entries"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=379"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/happypoet.com\/arglor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}