She had someone better to talk to… so I wait..

Well after much soul-searching and an argument with Trey I’ve flip-flopped again. Call me a flip flopper… I like to hear it.

I am still in serious anger at the ignorance shared by a majority of America due to the past election, mainly because it seems the consequences are going to be dire. BUT, I am willing to admit one key fact that I have said earlier but I never linked to this whole situation.

My argument used to be that if given the correct tools that anyone in this world could demonstrate a far more superior knowledge then we grant them on the whole. I argued that people are inherently able to make good decisions when given enough information about a subject. I was not wrong in this argument although I thought I had been after the election of 2004. I was wrong with linking the election of 2004 with a revolution of information. I thought that during the election the right information was getting out. I had naively been rampantly using my own understanding to truncate evidence for the whole of the USA. I was wrong.

Obviously it appeared to me that the information was getting out because I was pre-programmed to weed through the trash and find the truth. So it comes down to this, we need to fix this. Something has got to change. Christianity has to change. I can only see it this way. My argument is as follows.

-=-=(The extended entry includes an argument for this, I felt that I might offend you by keeping it here)=-=-

In the end Christianity is a tool. It is used for good and bad, and believe me there are a lot of good things that come out of Christian beliefs. My concern is that the negative things that come about due to Christian beliefs far outweigh the good. I wish everyone were as open-minded as my mom. She is the model Christian in my mind, her and Desmond Tutu of course. If there were more christians like her then the world would be a better place.

I face a unique problem. I have a lot of Christian friends who believe their prejudicial and inflammatory beliefs are okay to have. I’m starting to sever my connection with them. Is this a good thing? I don’t know I’m tired. Trey said that the answer isn’t to ignore them and not interact with them. I argue it certainly isn’t attacking their beliefs. I progress this argument by saying that as long as they vote my rights out of existence and they use my name to wage a holy war, I will cut ties to them.

They are right about this. There is a moral relativism that is growing in this country. What is more troubling is that it is spreading into the area of knowledge. Suddenly a notion of how little we can truly “know” gets thrown around to support the most absurd ideas. We can’t really know if ghosts are real or not, so why not believe in them for fun? Sure it is all fun and games until some psycho takes his belief in ghosts and decides to murder thousands of people in an attempt to create a ghost. My point? My point is this. We can know things. There are degrees of knowledge. We can know that on September 11th 2001 two planes were hijacked and piloted into the twin towers in New York City. We can know that our political system is not producing effective leaders. We can know that the Iraqi war was not based on solid evidence or sound reasoning. We can know that as much as Bush professes to be Christian, he doesn’t embody enough of the Christian ideals demonstrated by Christ himself. We can know the information tools we use on a daily basis are biased.

Finally we can know that there are a near infinite of truths in the world that are there for us to discover and know. Truth is not subjective.

Morality is necessary for our society to survive. Just like when I know adding 2 + 2 gives me 4, I know that my actions have an effect. I also know there are moral effects to some of my actions. I kill a person and I feel immoral about the action. There are negative effects in our society that occur due to that action. These are all evidence of moral codes in existence. A moral code is simply a law of nature that dictates how social animals co-exist. We see plenty of societies behind us that have failed because they didn’t recognize the moral codes in existence. They are like ruined airplanes at the bottom of a cliff, where great minds spent so much time trying to figure out how to fly. All they needed was to recognize the law of aerodynamics, and all we need to do is recognize the law of living.
(more…)

it is to late… maybe tomorrow..

120$ later and two weeks of my life passed by, and i feel better. Headaches are still with me, but the sore throat is passing away. It feels a little scratchy every so often, but the inflamation has died down greatly. I can’t figure out why. All i did was take some penicillin and some ibuproffin. Did not even get a shot.

Mom thinks it was the ibuproffin. All the same tonight is going to be the first night of mine where i can rest well.

Long time since i posted my occurances. I still feel bad. Throat acts as though it is on fire every time i swallow. I actually pull back expecting the pain. I’ve even been known to slam my fist down on a few tables/counter/walls at the pain while letting out an exasperated “FUCK”. All this is irrelevant.

I’m tired of talking about how bad i feel. Mary’s happy movers came by today. They were early. They were not supposed to be here till tomorrow. Where will little David lay his head tonight. They ransacked the place. took everything… i felt abused…

I am joking.. they did take everything though. I feel like me and Mary did break up and i’m trying to piece together what i have left. I have a bed….. i have two tables…. a computer… a chair… woo hoo i’m set.

now where did i put those sheets for my bed… i used to have a lot of things but i threw them away i believe. I was an idiot. I thought i wouldn’t need them again.

anyway i’m staying at mom and dad’s for tonight. Hopefully dad will drive my bed up to my apartment for friday. hopefully….

i want to sleep in my apartment tomorrow night…

at least till i’m evicted…

YES I AM!!!! I FEEL WORSE TODAY THEN I FELT MONDAY! I took medicine monday… how can you take medicine and feel worse afterwards… i’m going insane…

50% of the voting populace of america say the following.
– Government is too difficult to run, stop giving us all the information we can’t do anything and it just puts our government at risk for terrorists who are obviously more intellegent then us and can piece together information better then we can. Keep us ignorant we really don’t want to change. Oh yeah… but don’t you dare fucking kill babies…. babies… the death of babies…. *turns into the hulk* NO KILL BABIES!!! *tears apart the room including the reporter asking them their opinions*

Yes folks, it isn’t the death of individuals for a cause that is unjust or unsupported by fact that makes our society tremble in fear. It is not the real war an ocean away that makes our society fail to sleep at night. It is not the fear of foreign diplomats claiming the annihilation of our country due to the current justification game occuring in our government.

No folks, it is a fictitious war of definitions. On one side we see millions of children dieing at the hands of science. On the other side we see millions of women becoming objects of the patriarchical society. In the end misinterpretations occur. A fictitious war is a lot more important then the real war. Interesting… I’m using conjecture of course.. and broad generalizations…

This is of course based on the fact that the number one issue people went to the polls dealed strictly with moral issues (aka. Abortion, gay marriage, and other christian moral crises.)

and so this message will be short… good news.. i talked to Mike last night and he said that it would be possible for me to sleep on their floor….

don’t need money for a hotel room so thats nice… the trip is going to be really cheap…

ok i’m done…

Today is going to be rough…

i will first study for the test in History,
i will add comments on this woman’s paper for my Nietzsche class
i will have to run around looking for boxes…
–which reminds me… trey… do you have any boxes you don’t need? Mary is in
–need of boxes to pack up her stuff.. and there is a lot of stuff so any boxes you
–can spare would be appretiated…
i will finish a rough draft of my Nietzsche paper to hand out tomorrow
i will begin on my anthropology paper

And i think that is it… . wow.. it is a lot…

in conclusion… I feel really bad still… i feel like i have a permanent hangover… or at least what i think feels like a permanent hang over.. i think it is my sinuses out of whack… but i am groggy and there is a tracer effect when i move my head… serious vertigo at times… my throat kind of hurts also…

i’ve been drinking a lot of orange juice and a lot of water lately… interesting enough… cutting back on the DP because i can’t really afford to buy any…

p.s. do you notice how early this is? there are reasons this is so early…
1) i had serious nightmares last night
2) i feel bad so i kept getting up to get water/oj and finally said fuck it i’m awake…

I’m a severe romantic… i always have been… It is the one area in my life i have swore to never question… logic can do a lot of things.. destroy gods… debase moral theories… destroy works of art… create new languages…

I want to remain idealistic about life… the details? yeah destroy the details.. god, government, even the self…. these i can understand and i applaud… but destroying love is about the most self-defeating thing logic could possibly do… sure we can break love down chemically and evaluate our actions… you have so much of a heart rate when you look in her eyes… your body produces sweat when you see her come near… you like it when she whispers how much she loves you in your ear…. you can break that down even to specific feelings, like the sensitivity of the earlobe and how the wind in effect makes your ear feel stimulated….

But all that is bullshit… it is mechanical… and i’ll have no part of it.. i define consciousness as being conscious “of” and i define being conscious as nothing. this is pure Sarte. You can break existence down and define things…. but it is only after it is all said and done that you have to come up with a theory binding it all together… and however much i agree you can’t be certain about anything.. i also agree love is something i’m certain i enjoy the hell out of..

so the question is… can love be defined?
sure i’m positive it can, but do i want to define love? nope..