October 30, 2005

All gussied up, and no where to go.

Filed under: Entries — arglor @ 10:13 am

Things i have recently done:
– Began listening to various discourses on philosophically oriented activites
– i’ve seen a great deal of good movies
– Story of the Weeping Camel -> very good documentary about the chinese (sp?) nomadic people.
– Spring, Summer, Fall, Winder, ….. and Spring -> very interesting korean film that follows the patterns of nature, the patterns of humanity, and and how both interact with each other. It is in a buddhist setting. Other then the moral truthes one can gleam from the film, a major reason to watch the film is to see the scenery. The film takes place on a floating shrine in the center of a lake and as time progresses the lake changes. It is a beautiful film.
– Serenity -> this is for the geek in me. I like sci fi sometimes, and what better then cowboys in space? I tell you they were made for each other. Cowboys and space that is. Forced me to find and watch the tv show it is based on called firefly. Series is a lot better then the movie, at least it is when they spend their time in space.
– Planning for my brother’s trip to NYC. Trey was supposed to come up here yesterday, but Amanda became very ill and like a very giving and responsible person he postponed his trip here. Amanda is in the hospital right now. She is suffering from vertigo and absolute nausea. She has been vommiting so much that she became dehydrated. Last i heard the doctors couldn’t find a direct cause, and thereby ordered a CAT scan. I hope everything goes well. Certain people haven’t kept me up to date as to her condition. The good news is trey will be rescheduling his flight at a later date, apparently it was pretty cheap rescheduling it. The bad news is that i have to go to NIN concert without him. Of course Mary stepped up and offered to buy the ticket from me, which is actually a lot of help to me and very appretiated, but i can’t help having a desire to have seen NIN with Trey. We also had a Jazz concert scheduled on Tuesday. Mary already had a ticket to go to that, and so we are currently looking for someone else who would like the ticket.
– I really miss Trey. It is strange but i didn’t think his postponing of this engagement would have struck me as hard as it did. I can not even imagine how it has struck him. His desire to come up here was not simply to see me but to escape his current predicament, and i think his was also a desire to see NYC.

I will be so bored this week, and the following weekend. Mary planned on leaving us with the whole apartment next weekend. I was planning on doing a bunch of stuff, but now i will simply have to entertain myself…………… i could always look for a better job…. grrr… or study for the gre… grrrrrrrr….. or ……………………………………………………………………………………….. bleh

October 7, 2005

had a minor bout with insanity today.

Filed under: Entries — arglor @ 11:52 pm

Mom talked me down. I’ve had a bad last few days. I’ve sunk into a minor depression. With the failure of the interview, and lack of other interest by any job-givers, this job-seeker begins to question his self-worth. On top of which i keep talking to mom, dad, and trey and hear how bad/not as good as it could be cleanup is going. Today is the worst of the whole situation. They clean up Trey’s book collection. All of trey’s books are ruined. I envied trey’s book collection. His comic collection was something i admired also. Ruined.

I know this has got to be hard on Trey. I have feared this day from the begining. In a bout of insanity, i almost flew down there tomorrow to destroy all the materials so that he wouldn’t have to. Then i found out it would cost me 1300 $s. My boss finally got back to me about potentiatl vacation time. Apparently he talked to the “partners” of the law firm and they agreed unanimously that if the accounting firm could “part” with me for a few days it would be ok with them, they would not bombard the department with bills. Problem is i don’t know when it is good for, and i doubt it is good for in a few months when is the only time i can afford the tickets to fly down there. So i’m stuck. I got the vacation, unpaid btw, just not the money.

So i scoured, travelocity had a much better deal, but i couldn’t finalize the purchase. It was only 700 dollars. That i could afford, but Mom talked me out of doing it. Told me i should save the money for when trey mom and dad come up here, and then spend it on things to cheer them up.

This does nothing for the immense feeling of … for lack of a better description… impotence. I feel so powerless. I find myself cursing my job for not giving me more money, and cursing the situation for not allowing me to be able to go down there and help them. Anything i do will be too late.

Moral of the story: don’t move far away from your family. IT sucks when they need you, and even more when you need them.

October 3, 2005

the interview…

Filed under: Entries — arglor @ 6:45 pm

It didn’t go so well. I was doing great until she asked me this question, “What in your experience makes you passionate about violent abuse against women?” errr…. uhmmm…

what am i supposed to say about this? Yes in fact i abused a woman yesterday and thought, “Hmm this isn’t right… i shouldn’t do this… in fact i don’t think ANYONE should do this… where is the sanctuary for families organization, i’ll join their org and work to stop ANYONE from hitting another woman again.”

… oh yeah the job i was applying for was an administrative assistant’s position at a local non-proift org called Sanctuary for Families, the organization gives sanctuary for families in abusive situations. The organization also offers legal advice and assistance to these same women. Was the interview bad per say? no not terribly. Was it good? could have been better.

In the end it was an interview and i had some hits and some misses. One particular hit was more of a recovery, but i was asked if i had any questions about the organization, in which i replied, “Yes, i was curious if we get direct observation of the cause and effect relationships between my work and the progress of the organization as a whole.” In which she responded, yes i’m really glad you asked this, that will actually be my job.. detailing how your work is effecting the overall progression of the organization as a whole.

ok well i have to go to lunch.