Mom talked me down. I’ve had a bad last few days. I’ve sunk into a minor depression. With the failure of the interview, and lack of other interest by any job-givers, this job-seeker begins to question his self-worth. On top of which i keep talking to mom, dad, and trey and hear how bad/not as good as it could be cleanup is going. Today is the worst of the whole situation. They clean up Trey’s book collection. All of trey’s books are ruined. I envied trey’s book collection. His comic collection was something i admired also. Ruined.

I know this has got to be hard on Trey. I have feared this day from the begining. In a bout of insanity, i almost flew down there tomorrow to destroy all the materials so that he wouldn’t have to. Then i found out it would cost me 1300 $s. My boss finally got back to me about potentiatl vacation time. Apparently he talked to the “partners” of the law firm and they agreed unanimously that if the accounting firm could “part” with me for a few days it would be ok with them, they would not bombard the department with bills. Problem is i don’t know when it is good for, and i doubt it is good for in a few months when is the only time i can afford the tickets to fly down there. So i’m stuck. I got the vacation, unpaid btw, just not the money.

So i scoured, travelocity had a much better deal, but i couldn’t finalize the purchase. It was only 700 dollars. That i could afford, but Mom talked me out of doing it. Told me i should save the money for when trey mom and dad come up here, and then spend it on things to cheer them up.

This does nothing for the immense feeling of … for lack of a better description… impotence. I feel so powerless. I find myself cursing my job for not giving me more money, and cursing the situation for not allowing me to be able to go down there and help them. Anything i do will be too late.

Moral of the story: don’t move far away from your family. IT sucks when they need you, and even more when you need them.