April 2, 2005

The next route of my life… and memories from the offramp

Filed under: Entries — arglor @ 8:29 pm

The alcohol issue has been solved. I was thinking over my image last night and running the issues i had with stating my abstinence from social drinking, when it hit me that i was dichotomizing a situation that wasn’t exactly a true dichotomy.

There are two responses to the statement, “I don’t drink.” The first is of course the moral issues inherent, BUT the second possible interpretation is that i’m a drunk abstaining for the health of my current relationship. See one exudes nerd/control freak tendencies while the second exudes awesome dark mysterious side. When people ask me if i would like a drink, i will reply, “I really shouldn’t… no honestly…” and then have a slight twinge of fear as though i’m remembering the distant calls of tijuana with tequilla breath and dirt and sand on my face as i attempt to remember where exactly i am.

Of course at this moment my cohort in this cherade will pipe in and make eye contact with the person offering the drink and using pure body language demonstrate exactly how important it is to keep tijuana a distant memory and not more up to date.

I remember doing something similar with a friend of mine called Lucas. When we walked into Cafe Cottage and played chess there would always be the passing interests of others in our game, and this often included intrusive self-invites against the winner of the game. After I kicked Lucas’ ass in chess i would have to play some unknown skill level. At the begining of every match they would ask my skill level, and i always mentioned that i was fairly new to the game. This wasn’t exactly the most honest answer, but in order to save face it was necessary at the time due to my lack of skill. I would often get beaten and they would move on. Lucas found it hillarious that i lied on a constant basis with a straight face, and due to Lucas’ nature this meant trouble for me. He wanted in on the lie. After several attempts of dissuading Lucas from joining in he began his own lie. I would say, “i’m fairly new to this game.” and he would chime in, “Yeah, he learned chess about the time i had my accident.” No one usually cought on except one really annoying kid.

After bringing up the accident, the obvious question is what was the accident. and to this Lucas would respond, “It happen about a year ago friend… my name is john steel, i’m an ex-navy seal.” Well at this point the whole charade was busted. Not to mention the guy i’m playing against is completly confused. Lucas wasn’t a young man, but to be an ex-navy seal with a stupid name like John steel is to bring too much attention to the whole situation.

Lucas also stated we overanalysed our social situations too much. It was always fun to fuck with people’s heads as they sat there. They never truely knew the truth behind our statements.

We were assholes come to think of it. ah well..

7 Responses to “The next route of my life… and memories from the offramp”

  1. mayfly Says:

    hlf-, i think you are right to draw the conclusion that if people are constantly teasing a- about his unease with drinking in social situations, then he is hanging out with the wrong people. unfortunately, most of the people he has had problems with lately (as far as i know) are people he doesn’t have too much of a choice about hanging out with, such as members of my extended family (who, like many large cajun catholic families in south louisiana, drink), random people at parties i’ve brought him to (most of my older friends do like a beverage), or dinner and drinks get-togethers with people from my old work (who were a bunch of hard-working physicists, technical writers, and statisticians, who compensated for the long hours they spent working for the man with tequila, etc.) anyway, suffice it to say, much of it was forced socialization type situations, at which i think it is perfectly acceptable and even amusing to use silly little charades such as the one a- described to make the experience enjoyable… [i:081de6af12]ahem![/i:081de6af12] i shall cough, wide-eyed, as soon as a- turns away from the drink-offerer, shaking my head feverishly, and then smile sweetly and innocently at a- when he turns back to see why i coughed. 😈 all in good fun!

  2. wduluoz Says:

    Im not getting a Master’s in English. Im getting a Master’s in Linguistics. Watch a PAX show today called — Why Americans hate us? Maybe we have it all wrong maybe both the evangelicals and the non-believers hate the same people — the Americans. Wilbur

  3. horselover_fat Says:

    [quote:f6b7a95fd1] tijuana [/quote:f6b7a95fd1] ? Tell me more… Ron.

  4. mealymel Says:

    I like elaborate lies that confuse the hell out of people. Definitely use the tijuana / dark mysterious story, if you have to. 😉

  5. horselover_fat Says:

    So it’s all lies then? Lies! Lies! Lies! Or is it? Hmm… Ron (Has his own Tijuana story…).

  6. mayfly Says:

    [quote:859069e28c=”horselover_fat”][quote:859069e28c] tijuana [/quote:859069e28c] ? Tell me more… Ron.[/quote:859069e28c] Bwahaha! It’s working already!!! 😈

  7. dramke Says:

    Boy, I am getting old or I hang around with too many old people. When asked if I want a drink, I say no thanks most of the time. Nothing more. The funny part is no one questions it. Is it old age or people in my age group just don’t care any more??? They either drink or not.