I’m sitting here pondering over statements made in the past and I am attempting to try and get some things together…. I talked to Mom today… it was a really good conversation…. I said a couple things that were bothering me and she just listened… it felt good… Real good in fact…

I’ve figured some things out…. first I need to get this Nietzsche paper done… second I need to get out of this apartment… third… I need to study for GRE… fourth I need to take the GRE… Fifth I need to setup a regiment where I get out of this house and do things for fun… Sixth I need to let go of some of the things I’m worrying about and realize that this is my life and I can either sit back and watch it perform the tasks necessary or I can yet again take up the reigns and have fun… it has been so long since I’ve had fun by myself..

I think that is why I don’t feel good…. I’ve been more concerned about what “will” happen then concerned about what is actually happening… interesting dilemma…