I had some interesting discussions today.. the Israeli-Palestinian war was debated by me and an Ex-Jew… the political campaign and media inadequacies were heatedly debated about at the cafe early this morning or.. last night however you wish to label the time frame…

my failure’s in debating with people… apparently I’m dogmatic and I approach things as a teacher and not a learner… of course this is coming from my brother… which means that he has a unique vantage point on my life…
I might act that way about my subject with him because we argue so much that I find if I don’t argue that way I’ll be trampled and my points will have less weight… so I find myself coming out of the gate in the beginning and setting up a whole argument before he has a chance to respond to anything… we have had a unique dynamic over our lives…

Only recently, in the past 2-4 years has he taken me seriously in any form of information exchange… before he would placate my whims.. and i think the reason is because I became forceful in my conclusions and I didn’t bow down… also because I had training in rhetoric… not to mention the subjects we talk about –> religion, morality, existence, -> are all subjects i study in depth.

Only lately have we picked up language which is awesome because it triumphs all the above ideas. Why you might ask? Mainly because the ideas above are filtered through language… There is a current trend in philosophy, spawned by Nietzsche btw, where we attack language for its inability to convey or explain reality. Language is very abstract. The real world is physical. How can an abstract entity explain something it is not even able to produce? or in other words how can an abstract entity and a physical entity interact… and they don’t… only humans force them to interact.. the medium is humanity…

What sucks about this is that Trey is the expert here… I’m the dawdling noob… but that isn’t to say I don’t have unique insight… just not the information to back my insight up… but i find myself still wanting to be looked at as an equal in the field… when before i didn’t share equality with trey in the previous fields… there can be no equality in a field i don’t have enough information in.. But this is changing… Trey is approaching linguistics from an English position and I’m approaching language from the philosopher’s position.

It is a unique dilemma. Philosophy has built up to linguistics… all the explanations of reality, morality, etc are byproducts of language… so language trumps it all… why talk about morals when you don’t even know where language and reality diverge?

Oh well… so i got knocked off my high block… its good… I’ve been thinking i needed to stop professing things as though they are true… Epistemology hurt last semester…

Me: you mean logic is flawed?
Korcz: you knew this… you kept saying this when you were taking symbolic logic…
Me: Yeah but not this fundamentally flawed… and it is such a simple flaw… but it destroys everything…
Korcz: It doesn’t destroy everything, it simply highlights it and says, “Yes philosopher, there is no real answer.”

It hurt to say the least… i thought i was making meager progress in understanding things… I’m just now getting used to changing my opinions like the wind… but it is severely disorienting…

anyway….. Below is a dream I had… Extended for brevity.

Ok here we go… it was a strange and good dream…

Cast
Me
Mary
Richard Jenkins (heh I know fucked up eh?)
the rest are inconsequential

The dream begins or at least the earliest memory I have is of me inside a classroom where Mary is teaching class. I don’t know if I’m just inside waiting for class to be done or what. I remember Mary saying that i was her lover to the class. I remember Richard sitting next to me talking to me. I remember Mary saying that we should go outside and also those we need to be quiet. That is all I remember in terms of language. This rest is best described as feelings. I remember Richard being an ex-lover of Mary’s. He never said it but I knew it instinctively. I also remember Richard praising me. I remember as we talked I took on a very distinct feeling of modesty. It was as though I shouldn’t be praised for the things I did. I do not know what I did.

When we walked outside I remember leaning up against a concrete pylon in an immaculate city/community. I remember talking to Richard and I remember feeling like the city/community was my responsibility. Like I made the city what it was. I remember Richard praising me for this at this point. I don’t know what I did to make the city/community what it was. But I remember it was my actions that made the city/community what it was.

and then I woke up…. fucking weird dream… if you know me you know that I don’t dream, or I don’t remember my dreams… when I do have dreams they are usually traceable to reasons. I don’t know any rhyme or reason for this one.. I feel like it will be explained later through my actions somehow…