April 29, 2005

So today is my last day here.

Filed under: Entries — arglor @ 11:33 am

How un-cool is this, i brought my camera today. I plan on shooting a few films strips of my life here as i know it. I plan on getting pictures of Mike (Snaars) and Dr. Korcz. Others will more then likely get taken. All around it is simply marking a moment in my life. Sad? Perhaps. All around it is manditory.

Mealymel’s reading went well last night, i enjoyed it. As much as i know mealymel on the blog, i still have very little meeting experience with her outside of cyberland. This makes me feel like certain “social” privleges arn’t allowed, and so i didn’t walk up and say hi till the end of the whole presentation, and even then it was just to tell her that i enjoyed her presentation.

It was an interesting presentation. I think her argument was in support of love being defined via social “pop” art. I think I agree that there is a part of the definition of love that is portrayed by society. I was not familiar with John Hughs though till this morning, and that is a running theme throughout her story. To say i’m not familiar with was actually horribly incorrect. Apparently i am. Ferris bueller’s day off, Breakfast Club (Mary told me i should watch this and i did, it was cute), wierd science, and of course the whole home alone debacle are known to me. The rest i haven’t but a vague clue through the social medium that is our homogenous* existence.

All in all the overall experience was enjoyable.

Last night was reminiscent of being with an old friend of mine, Lucas. I enjoyed it a great deal. So here i went and did it. For three years i spent having friendships that were setup to deteriorate so that when i graduated i could pick up and leave without any problems whatsover. I failed.

The last two years i ended up making several friendships i hope never deteriorate. Ah well. Its a good thing i suppose.

I have also seriously changed over time, and hopefully it won’t stop fully.

*HLF explication.

15 Responses to “So today is my last day here.”

  1. mealymel Says:

    thanks, d. i’m glad you could make it out and that you enjoyed it. thesis correct, but i still have a lot of bugs to work out in it. i think, last night, all i was worried about was being somewhat entertaining, and i guess mission accomplished. i’m actually interested in an article / something you mentioned awhile back in my blog… some biological theory of love… where was that from?

  2. arglor Says:

    what i referenced was a penn and teller interview with a biologist who ran down the mechanical properties that are found in the description of love for the human. The series is Bullshit, run by Penn and Teller. Their episode was on “Debunking Romantic Love” and it also analysed our new methods of making connections with the opposite (same in some cases) sexes. It was a good little talk about how some ideas are programmed by pop-media. I’m not sure about academic research on the subject, i know for a matter of fact that philosophically speaking Love is largely ignored. Mary will have more information, she did research on this topic for a short story she wrote called “the Half Life of Love.”

  3. snaars Says:

    Oh, good! I was afraid I was the only one who didn’t want to be saddled with friends. This is going to be easier than I thought – I was dreading an awkward scene, what with me having to tell you to get lost and all after graduation. Well, I guess the feeling is mutual. Ha ha! Did I getcha? Seriously, get lost loser. I’m graduating with honors, with the best damn degree there is … from UL Lafayette … It’s my big day and I’m graduating with honors … I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone … I showed you all … (Excuse me, I’m going to go in a corner and cry now.)

  4. arglor Says:

    sooo.. wednesday right? it is a good thing i made friends with all of you, i just remember when i first was at the university that in limited socialization due to my plans for leaving. I’m very pleased to have been able to have such a damn good couple of years with the philosophy department.

  5. snaars Says:

    Me too. Some of the best years of my life. Yes, Wednesday. Michelle would like to come too. When I get home from work this afternoon I am going to try to find a babysitter. BTW, did you see New York Intern’s last couple of entries? He actually did a choose-your-own-adventure story. Hilarious.

  6. arglor Says:

    didn’t read it all though… i’m disappointed he didn’t bring up the fact that you gave him the initial idea in the comments section.. kind of dissappointing he gave all credit for the idea to his higher level guy… oh well ALSO he missed one of the key elements to the choose your own adventure books, the obligatory death page, usually found near the back of the book…. Do you push the button? yes? page 94 no? page 2 Do you disarm the trap? yes? page 94 no? page 35 Do you test the water for sharks with your toe? yes? page 94 no? page 83 After a couple of ‘choosing’ the wrong decision you realize page 94 isn’t a page you want to go to, and thereby opt not to do that option. Do you want the cake or the pie? cake page 94 pie page 253 hehehe i hate pie. ——–page 94, in case your curious——- And then it occurs, the culmination of your life flashes before your eyes and you realize the decision you made was in poor rationality. Fate has turned against you, and you have needlessly thrown away your life. After the sharp pain, you realize that it couldn’t be that bad. You can focus on more constructive activities now in the after life. There is always the obligatory harp and scroll, but remember this adventurer, your name will not go down in history or be sung in songs of heroism. Your rotting remains will lie on the path as a warning to other lone adventurers who choose to follow in your steps. Perhaps your corpse can help them see the error in your choice. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=- i love choose your own adventurer books.

  7. snaars Says:

    I didn’t mind that he didn’t give me credit, because I’m not sure he got the idea from my post. So true about the death page! Very funny. Hey, you did that so well, maybe you should write one. I notice he did do the thing where the outcome has nothing to do with your choice – if you choose meat, your boss is a vegetarian – if you choose salad, your boss is some kind of kooky tree-hugger. And he did the thing where ‘your’ thoughts are told to you as you read.

  8. mealymel Says:

    I’d still like to check it out all the same, academic or not. I know I’m not the only one playing with this pop-media love thing. I find it all intensely humorous, although sometimes I wish I’d have never begun analyzing love (in any way) to begin with. Might be ruining my life with that. [quote:d53857940b]I’m not sure about academic research on the subject, i know for a matter of fact that philosophically speaking Love is largely ignored.[/quote:d53857940b] I wonder why that is… like you said in the original post on my blog, philosophers deal with good/evil/god/etc… I’m curious about why love is ignored. Nothing to debate, maybe? My intellectual side has a hard time believing that there would be nothing to debate or explore though… I’m just wondering. [quote:d53857940b]Mary will have more information, she did research on this topic for a short story she wrote called “the Half Life of Love.”[/quote:d53857940b] M, can you tell me what you looked at for this? Nice title, by the way:)

  9. arglor Says:

    it is largely an issue of emotion… logic can’t really evaluate emotion… emotion simply is what it is, and they are very uncontrollable. Of course as a sidenote- there is a humanities class called “the philosophy of Love.” It is being taught by a doctorate of law, and a doctorate in renewable resources. Not sure what they will cover in their class but Dr. Korcz told me it was a misprint and not meant to actually be considered philosophy. I don’t know anything more then that.

  10. mayfly Says:

    [quote:3c68174d34=”mealymel”][quote:3c68174d34]Mary will have more information, she did research on this topic for a short story she wrote called “the Half Life of Love.”[/quote:3c68174d34] M, can you tell me what you looked at for this? Nice title, by the way:)[/quote:3c68174d34] Thank you. I couldn’t believe no one had already taken it. But D- gives me too much credit. All I did was draw on my experience with him early in our relationship. I had never really felt anything like what I felt when I was with him before – and which I still feel when I am with him, from time to time – so my initial experience with him was so shocking to me that I ended up doing a whole lot of bizarre research trying to figure out what the feeling was. (See early blog entries, for kooky examples.) I also did some scientific research to confirm my suspicion that the physiological effect of love – that swimmy feeling – is actually caused by a release of excess serotonin into your bloodstream, of which there is a limited supply in your body, which is why you can’t feel it long term. (You have to sleep to make more of it, before it can be released and give you that swimminess – in all its spectacularness – or that sense of well-being [more common] again.) Anyway, I have no idea what I researched to get this information (it was not Research with a capital r, I was just doing reading on the Internet), but I did confirm that serotonin was involved in the chemical response. Anyway, this is the part of my short story that the research went into.* Love has a half life of eighteen months to three years. That swimmy feeling, the fuzziness, the weakness in your knees?it?s all caused by the overabundance of certain compounds in your bloodstream and the relative scarcity of others. By a chemical reaction. They can test for it. Studies show that, on average, it takes one and a half to three years for the proximity of that special someone to stop causing it. It?s not like the movies. Love doesn?t dissipate in an instant, vaporize into the night like Bela Lugosi. You don?t wake up one morning next to the love of your life with your head suddenly, strangely clear, and wonder: Who is this person? Love dissipates gradually. It trickles away slowly, insidiously, over a year of dirty laundry, scalded pot roast, and morning-breath kisses. You start arguing over whose turn it is to do the dishes. Feed the iguana. You start sleeping in, instead of making love in the morning. You develop a renewed interest in your career. Notice your boss?s new cologne. You ask yourself: After the thrill is gone, what?s left? You find yourself wanting to answer: Not enough. My parents thought they had found a solution to the problem of love, a way of life that allowed them to ?keep love alive.? The Procedure, they called it. Unfortunately, it was The Procedure that killed them. My father was a truck driver. His job required that he make cross-country trips in his rig, so he wasn?t usually home except for on weekends. Long ago, not long after they married, before I was born, my mother rode next to my father in the big rig, in tight bellbottoms and Farrah Fawcett hair. But they quickly learned better. By day two of a cross-country trip, my mother was sick to death of my father. Everything about him?from his big, red handlebar mustache to his pigeon toes?made her ill. My father says it was on one of these trips that he noticed the fifteen pounds my mother had gained since their wedding, as he watched her eat bag after bag of potato chips. On another trip, he began to suspect her left breast was far smaller than her right. After one year of marriage, they worked out The Procedure. When my father was home on a weekday, he and my mother didn?t speak. They passed in the kitchen like ships in the night, always keeping a safe distance between them. If my mother had something to say that couldn?t wait until the weekend, she would solemnly tap him on the shoulder. My father would raise his brows. Then, she would whisper whatever it was she had to say: The engine on the station wagon has blown to bits. There?s toilet paper stuck to your shoe. Your great aunt Hilda is finally dead. My mother swore it was the lack of interaction during the week that made their weekends together pure bliss. On Friday night, my mother got all dressed up, and my father took her out. They had dinner. They went dancing. They drove to the drive-in. The noise when they got home was something awful. One Friday night, not long after James and I got married, my father and mother went dancing. People who saw them there said they had a good time. My father was wearing his favorite beltbuckle. It?s big and square and shiny like brass. My mother was wearing a new dress. It was red, my father?s favorite color, and slightly too tight. She kept pressing up against him. Dancing slow. They went off the road and hit a tree on the way home. My mother died at the scene of the accident. My father lived a little longer. It took him about a day to go. Internal bleeding. The bartender swore my father didn?t drink too much, and I believed him. My father knew better. He drove for a living. That was what made the accident so strange. My father had always been such a good driver. He was conscious only once, for a little while. I was there when he woke up. The first thing he said was, ?Your mother?? I put my hand on his shoulder. He raised his brows, then stopped, wincing. ?Daddy,? I whispered. I couldn?t bring myself to say it. His face went white. A fat tear slid down his clean-shaven cheek. He closed his eyes. I decided to change the subject to something more mundane, for his sake. ?What happened? The road was dry. The weather was fine.? The teardrop disappeared into his mustache. Another one slid out, and he opened his eyes. He started sobbing. ?Your mother was distracting me?? —- *DISCLAIMER: This is probably obvious, but I still want to say it… I AM NOT THE NARRATOR OF THIS STORY. It is an imaginary character, who is feeling very cynical as a result of recent events in her own disasterous lovelife. Her feelings about love are not my own. Thank you for understanding! 😀

  11. mealymel Says:

    I’m jealous… your writing is awesome! Thanks for sharing…

  12. mayfly Says:

    [quote:e2acbfaf78=”mealymel”]I’m jealous… your writing is awesome! Thanks for sharing…[/quote:e2acbfaf78] Thank you. That is always good to hear. I’ve been practicing for years. 🙂

  13. mealymel Says:

    [quote:a150536034=”Arglor”]it is largely an issue of emotion… logic can’t really evaluate emotion… emotion simply is what it is, and they are very uncontrollable. Of course as a sidenote- there is a humanities class called “the philosophy of Love.” It is being taught by a doctorate of law, and a doctorate in renewable resources. Not sure what they will cover in their class but Dr. Korcz told me it was a misprint and not meant to actually be considered philosophy. I don’t know anything more then that.[/quote:a150536034] true… very true. I think that I keep wanting to apply logic to it, but find myself only frustrated. This is why, I guess. I heard about that class and I think you may have mentioned it before. I’m curious to know what they DID cover in that class, considering the “false” advertising… I’ll have to ask Lisa Graely, who’s in charge of the humanties program. She usually has a syllabus for every humanties class that’s taught., and we’re good friends since I was once her grad assistant. I’ll report back to you if I see anything suspicious / interesting on the reading list.

  14. arglor Says:

    the class hasn’t happened yet.. it is offered next fall.. the advertisements have been up which is where the mis-naming occurs… on the official register the class isn’t called philosophy of love… not sure the “official name”.

  15. mealymel Says:

    [quote:d2f02f851e=”Arglor”]the class hasn’t happened yet.. it is offered next fall.. the advertisements have been up which is where the mis-naming occurs… on the official register the class isn’t called philosophy of love… not sure the “official name”.[/quote:d2f02f851e] I could probably still take a gander at the syllabus… I’m supposed to have lunch with Lisa sometime this week. I’ll ask her about it, because I truly am curious… not only about the subject matter, but also what an approach a renewable resources prof and a law prof will take to this. Not only am I curious about the subject matter, but the teaching aspect of it…