I just got back from home. It certainly was interesting.

My parents enjoyed their gifts, and i believe my brother also enjoyed his.

Mary loved her gifts. Here is a summary of one scenario i am particularly proud of, even if the thieving skills necessary may have only been relevant for me. BTW, none of my family noticed the work i put into the gift/wrapping. Gift unwrapping was a bit chaotic this year.
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– I received David Bowie’s Scary Monsters in the mail from Barnes and Nobles gift wrapped.
– I purchased a silver tear necklace from Tiffany’s and co.
– Deftly unwrapping the DBSM cd wrapping paper, removing the cd case from its plastic encasement while maintaining the integrity of the plastic wrap, and maintaining even the security seal on the cd case, I replaced the cd with the necklace.
– Carefully re-wrapping the case as though untouched, I placed the cd under the tree.
– During some minor banter it came to my attention she knew exactly what was “supposed” to be in the wrapping paper – Scary Monsters.
– Christmas morning, Mary opens her present and nods placing the cd case on the table with a smile of satisfaction. I ponder briefly. I instruct her that she should open the case fully. She asks why? I try and skirt it off as though it would be good enough to play now. She cocks an eye brow and opens it up. After opening the box fully she sees the “tiffany’s and co” designer necklace holder. Her look reads complete perplexity and soft disappointment.

I was a mite bit dissappointed. I explained quickly the cd was in the back. She opened the necklace holder and smiled exclaiming that the necklace was beautiful.

Was it worth the effort hiding the necklace? No. Later of course she told me that she was very pleased with it. I’m still dissappointed with the lack of reaction. It is my own fault. I told her i broke the Christmas price limit drastically. I’m spontaneous.
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Gifts given:
– The Absolute Watchmen (Trey: Intention: To help begin his library of collections)
– G-Force Video Card (Trey: Intention: to give him access to a relaxing past-time)
– Microwave (Mom and Dad: Intention: Necessity? I know boring, but they did say they needed a microwave.)
– Chinese Checker Board (Mom and Dad: Intention: To help give them access to more family memories. I called them so many times and Mom, Dad, Amanda, and Trey would be playing Chinese Checkers. This is before Rita of course. I hope they can continue it again.)
– Dread Pirate Jup (Mary: Intention: to immortalize the little Fuc**r piece of sh*t cat.)
– Silver Tear Necklace (Mary: Intention: to replace a failure of the past, in marking the woman of my dreams.)

That’s all the big presents i gave. There were a few minor presents i gave to Mary for her stocking stuffer like a DVD of Galaxy Quest and a stuffed kitty, but nothing major.

Gifts I received:
– DVDs all Widescreen and beautifully chosen (Explanation of pleasure: These are going to be the beginning of a much wider collection of favorite films. I hope to have many films one day.)
= Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
= I ♥ Huckabees
= Finding Neverland
= Lost in Translation
– Batman’s first appearance comics in Detective issues. (Explanation: This means a lot to me. Mary and I have argued a great deal about comic art, and its role as a method of human expression, which i call Art. The argument has been heated at times. I take this gift as a token of love and acceptance. She may not like the art-form and she may believe it to not be a valid/worthy/important piece of human expression, but she accepts my enjoyment of it. She understands that i find the art form interesting and worth some attention. Lately she has allowed me to rattle off my beliefs about super-heroes without telling me they are trite, 2-dimensional, and, my favorite, cookie cutter. So hopefully this lasts. I hope to begin my own personal adventure into this territory soon.)
– 2 tickets to spamalot! SPAM SPAM SPAM!
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Guard: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard: It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Arthur: Well, it doesn’t matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Guard: Am I right?
This is just going to be funny as hell.
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– Mysterious sword rack (Explanation: No Clue. I remember saying, ” I do not want a sword rack for christmas…” But apparently that meant, “I do not think i could live without a sword rack for christmas.” I can see where the confusion lies. Explanation B: Mary was sick and tired of seeing my sword gather dust in a corner and so got me a rack. BTW did you know i bought a katana at the rennaisance fair? Not sure i told anyone.)
– Unknown gift from trey. (Explanation: Gift unknown. ETA for knowledge gained: Monday of next week.)
– Trey also gave me a Starcraft Zealot action Figurine. It is kewl.
– Far Side non-sequitur calandar. I hope it keeps me centered at my new job.
– Gift certificate to Barnes and Nobles. Awesome. I hear it is a kewl store.

I may have left some stuff off. I can’t remember exactly at this moment.