I apparently have caught something. It is nasty. I’d like to let it go, but it is made of glue apparently.

bah

ok i’m done. I was just telling you i’m sick, swimming in my head… want to go home… people keep demanding things… DEMANDING I TELL YOU!

Mind Explosion.

Wow today is hectic. I’ve been in a crash course on new jersey court regulations. To make it better, i’ve also had a crash course in how the firm handles all of its cases etc.

To make this even better i’m operating on perhaps 5 hours of good sleep. I know that sounds like a lot, but it isn’t great. My brother gave me this awesome game for christmas called “world of warcraft: the board game” and it is fun as hell. Trey and I were playing it last night. I ended up getting to bed at around 1:00 and actually going to sleep around 2:00.

So i’m tired.

To make matters even better, i just found out that we are losing two more paralegals. OH JOY AND RAPTURE!!!!!! I’m so tickeled pink. I will have seniority on not one, but two other individuals and i’m not even done training ;).

This isn’t great, amp up the stress level… the auths go where and how and what? draft attoney’s response to rogs c and then whaa?!

bah

Movie discourse:
– Citizen Kane: *Rosebud* and all it’s glory.
– Paradise Now: Didn’t think the middle East was FUBAR? watch this movie.
– Butterfly: I finished it and it was *exactly* like every review describes it as. Ah the failed teachings of a child. Rebellious images and conformity to it’s extreme.
– Kolya: Another explemplification of the teacher/father son/learner relationship. This is a beautiful film about the czech society. When i watched this a long time ago i thought it was about the child and the man’s relationship, but after the second viewing i believe it has a lot of czech hisotrical writing going on in the background. A sort of here we are as a society.

Re-watched
– Lost in translation
– I heart Huckabees

future plans to see
– Munich
– Good night and Good luck.
– The Libertine

there are more, i forget my netflix que this second.

*due to confusion… the above title means the L stands for list and minor describes list because the list is not major, but minor. Ergo it is a movie update in minor list mode*

So today is my first work day of the first work week of 2006.
Interesting. I’m tickled pink. Honestly I am.

My brother is visiting. I’ve had a great time with him being here. We
joke around a lot. It is nice to have someone else in the house for me.
Our house is silent usually during the weekend or when I get off of
work, unless Mary and I decide to entertain each other with our witty
banter and flirtatious attitudes.

Interestingly enough, for some reason Mary and I have fought more now
since Trey came to visit then ever before. Some of it could be
attributed to me starting a new job and whatever stress there is to be
brought about due to this, but some could also say we have spent a lot
of time together which always inevitably leads to friction. (NOT to leave
out that the final reason such things occur, could be left up to the fact that
She is in a bad mood herself. She has snapped a lot at me lately. And she
nags…. whoah does she nag. But this is neither here nor there.)

It was not always this way.

Mary went home for the holidays and I was somewhat alone for 5 whole
days in our apartment. (alone meaning primarily me and kitties, except
for the oh so brief visit of stryx which was enjoyable for both parties
involved I believe) When I walked off the plane in Baton Rouge, Mary
and Trey were there to greet me. I was nauseous due to plane ride and
lack of food. Mary was very excited to see me, much like I was to see
her.

Life is what happens to you while you make plans.

Upon reaching “home” which is a luxurious house with three bedrooms, two
bathrooms (one of which includes a Jacuzzi bathtub), one four person
Jacuzzi, a living room/kitchen combination that is as long as ours in NY
but this one is about 8-9 feet wider, and a dining room.

My parents were not comfortable in it, I believe. For very
blatant reasons. They don’t own it, or even pay rent for it. It is
“someone” else’s. This makes them feel uncomfortable. It would make me
feel uncomfortable I believe.

Mary and I on the other hand were guests, and as guests were accustomed
to our surroundings not being ours. Something about second-tier
loanship. The pre-medicated concerns due to true ownership fades away.

We used the Jacuzzi/hot tub throughout our whole stay. It was enjoyable
and made us feel like we could do this one day, which brought up
questions. Difficult questions. About the future. AKA Stress
injectors into a relationship.

Christmas went without hitch. I discussed present giving practices.
Mom, Dad, and I didn’t hang out nearly as much as I’d have liked. I
always seemed to be doing something. It was annoying. We were always
around, we just didn’t talk much. I wanted to, but they were always
concerned with making us comfortable and showing us various things.

Time was short on all sides. Pre-Christmas activities involved present
purchasing and post-Christmas activities involved experiencing the
“hurricane” for the first time. Of course I wasn’t pushy. In fact to
be honest I did dread the conversation because I wasn’t sure how I could
help, or even if I could help. I need to go down there without Mary I
believe. The time we did in fact spend at the house attempting to fix
things, wasn’t enough for me. I think Mary was bored and I think my
family wasn’t interested in allowing me to work on the house either. I
don’t blame them. While at the house, there was a emotional funk in the
air, that is all I can do to describe it. It was like you could taste
the memories of the past flailing to be brought into the light, but yet
your conscious mind rejects the past as parts of something that never
will be.

They have made so much progress in re-building the place so that they
can move in. They still have a lot of work to do, and I want to help
more.

We will see. Life will be as it once was, it is just too soon. As fast
as life “seems” to be moving, I’m at a stage in which I wish it would
move faster. I swore I’d never want to “wish away my life”. But this
is one of those moments in which all preconceived rule sets are broken.

They will be repaired tomorrow.