So after work today i run up four flights of stairs to get to her door and see a note saying that she will be back in an hour. Dissappointed i sit outside and like any self-respecting philosopher who has just finished the novel he has just read, i begin reading an article on the existence of numbers. Transaitive and intransitive counting… enjoyable..

All the same she comes up laughing with a friend and sees me and states, “Ahhh i didn’t think you’d show up…” like i going to miss this right? So she says come in and i sit in her office and we chat for what seems like 5 seconds about how i can still do very well if i memorize the vocabulary neccessary. I nod and smile.

She says, “well i have to go to a meeting so… ” i get up zip my bag up where i was showing her my test btw, and as i’m walking down the hall she accuses me of stealing her keys. I turn around saying i don’t have them… and begin turning my pockets inside out and she says, “I had them when i came in here because i had to lock the door where are my keys?” I’m like shit if i know…. i point to a set of keys on her desk say politely could those be the keys? she says no no no…. those aren’t them… (meanwhile i’m watching her jump up and down searching the room and waving a set of keys around.. i’m thinking… this is insane…) not to mention she keeps demanding i search my bookbag… so i finally succumb to the idea that maybe i put them in my bag.. however fucking insane that idea is..

After unpacking all my shit she acknowledges that she is holding her keys… and pushes me outside her office with all my books in my hands…. then runs off to the elevator… i’m thinking as i stand in the hall attempting to put the books in my booksack with one hand how fucking sureal that experience was…

then i go upstairs and begin a night of debate…

We debate about the existence of God. Just in case your curious, his existence is still in doubt…

all the same.. she is freaking insane…

Sunday Modest Mouse will be playing in Houston… i just got a ticket to watch it..

i’ve been waiting to see them in concert for a while…

Ok the story from the top, I walk into class 1.5 minutes late for french. I’m worried because this woman has a tendency to call things out in attention but apparently she hadn’t even called roll so my tardiness slipped by without acknowledgement. I wasn’t worried at all because not only had i done what was required for today’s class but i also *understood* the work i had done. So,

Class Begins.

We go over the first major portion of the homework and I keep giving the answers while everyone else flounders. She walks around looking at each other’s notebooks and when she gets to the woman in front of me she gives a curt, “Where is your work?” and the lady stutters a bit saying she was sick the last class and did not know what work needed to be done. She steps up to me and notes that i’m writing in my book and she mumbles something about how unorganized i seem to be which gets me a little angry. Then some moments pass and she calls on me out of the blue for a question.

I pipe up and say the correct answer and she has a look of surprise but moves on. I’m thinking this adverserial position she is forcing me into is the wrong thing to do to me. I’m horrible when people judge me and i feel i must change their judgement. I turn cut throat. For the last three semesters i’ve been on adverserial positions with Dr. Berkeley. In fact one of the reasons i did so well in his Critical Thinking class was due to the fact that i wanted to show him his view of me being a slacker was ill designed. all the same, she appeared to be doing this very same thing to me. Forcing me to change her opinion of me.

So class continues and i keep surprising her by being on task with whatever she wants, even answering in complete french sentences.

As class closes, she looks at me and asks me to stay behind. I meander around hoping i’m not late to physics when she says, “Meet me at 2:00 today and we can talk about your grade. I decided to do a class curve which makes your F turn into a D- but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot to work on.” I’m speechless. I nod desiding it is best to not show complete surprise and say i’m free at that time.

So… I’ve gone from thinking i was in the fight of a lifetime to being be-wildered. I’m so confused. I like thinking of her as mine enemy. I was actually having delusions of making an A. oh how sweet that would be. Anyways…

I go into physics and since i’m in such a good mood i end up feeling really good about what i learned in physics… which was all about friction.

The good news is i’m going to talk to her about my grades and ask her how to handle the proposed mis-dates. I still have a great desire to go see the daily show on those days.

define love… biologically etc… i do not know…

valentine’s day corporate ploy? or rememnant of an old religion…

God i love Harvey Birdman, 10-15 minutes of pure joy and rapture.

Ok enough of that. So Valentines day went by uneventful. Ideas expressed, and ideas ignored. Interesting point of reference, i talked to Mary the least ever on the day defined as necessitating the most concern toward your loved ones. She was busy, I was in a bad mood. You know what they say of the plans of men? Something about rye bread and a marathon running in parrallel with tiny furry creators of worlds.

Yesterday brought some disturbing news. The french teacher i’m studying french from isn’t happy with me as a student. Apparently i’m fitting the catagory of slacker in her eyes. Hell who knows she might be correct. So it comes down to she will not really attempt to help me. She says that she will do what is necessary and that is about it. Sure the rules say that if i show improvement she will take that into account, but she doesn’t have “time” to assist me where other teachers have failed. Have i mentioned about that?

You see interesting story there. I have done very well in previous french classes, but it turns out that i didn’t learn french. Oh hell i know i didn’t learn french. I did what was neccessary to pass the classes and thats the extent of it. Now it bit me on the ass. I need to pass the class to graduate. oh joy.

onto greener pastures. I talked to Kinsella for today. It was a nice discussion. We talked about how his nature of evil class is progressing. apparently there isn’t as much discussion as there should be. I plan to crash his class from now on to give his students better material to work with. I plan on going in there with some wild and wacky discussions of evil…… you hear me satan? i’m knocking on your door, and i’m coming in there and i’m shoving your ass against the definition wall…

Not in a great mood today just odd.. random thoughts spilling out from all directions… Physics is going well, i’m enjoying it a lot.

I need to figure out what topic i’m choosing in metaphysics…

I’m at M.I. this weekend and we are seriously busy.

I woke up late today to go to work this morning after playing WoW for the first time in the past 2 weeks… shrug.. it was fun… didn’t play long.. went to sleep at 11:35, was just wiped out… and overslept my alarm…

work is as it always has been…

Mary is ill. Unfortunatly i think i gave it to her. She is a lot more ill then i ever was, but that doesn’t mean the bug didn’t come from me. She will be back later tonight. Tomorrow i’m free all day, as Mary will be busy all day. I’m thinking of going to a place called Neutral Ground in Manhattan and playing World of Warcraft. Then later in the night i will meet up with Mary and we will celebrate my last night here.

Hopefully she won’t be too sick.

Last night Mary and I went to a jazz performance that was one of the most invigorating demonstrations of musical improvisation i’ve ever seen in my life.

Most of you know i’m not the biggest fan of Jazz music to begin with, but last night had to be one of best musical experiences ever.

Highlights:
– Overall presentation was awesome.
– The tuba and chelo were the best out of all of the performers, which sucks because the trumpet player is the band leader and i didn’t care to much for him. There was this part where the tuba player growled into his tuba and it actually carried itself through the horn. Then he gave this barbaric yawlp because he had not done what he wanted to do, but at the time i didn’t know that. I had assumed he was just in the moment because everyone in the band had stopped playing giving ackowledgement to him for his solo to begin. The solo just ripped through the crowd and you heard spontaneous gasps and quiet ackowledgements of how good this guy was. I’ve never really enjoyed the soulfull baritone of the tuba. This made me want to play Tuba. He was just losing it on stage.
-The chelist performed his solo at one point he looked like what i would assume Bach would have looked like creating his work. Frantic hair standing high upon his scalp. he would switch between plucking and bowing the chello fluidly. You see this is what i understood from last night.
The musicians were passionate about their music. I felt their passion. It was an awe-inspiring night.
-There was this song called “bury me standing” that incorporated frantic chellist machinations with the scratching of a symbol and the repetitive notions of the tuba playing base… bum… bum… bum… consistently keeping time.. every four measures you heard a double base beat in the background.. those were the only stable parts to the music it always came back to the tuba and the base drum playing time and beat. It was a slow tune with the horn spouting out a few delicate notes spasticly. It was existential in nature, due to the lack of entanglement. This is a song i want Trey to hear.

ok enough of the jazz

Hard drive is still down. I’ve moved out from the apartment and paid my last month’s rent. I haven’t signed the promisary agreement yet because when i went to the agreement i saw that they had failed to setup the dates for me to pay. So instead of sigining a blank agreement from which they can alter to their own benefit, i opted to wait for them to fill it in then might sign. This is all hinging on one major idea. If they add interest to my payment i’m going to refuse to sign because i don’t think i should have to pay more then they have already agreed to.

I saw the document and it said 6 payments of 80 dollars which would equate the necessary amount.. 480.. but i’m still leary.. these people are in the business of screwing people around…

My hard drive is still fubar. I have some salvation though.

You see i have a system in operation. It is an elegant system. I’ve upgraded my computer a lot since my income has grown significantly over the last few years. Once i upgrade all my old parts usually are given to Trey and he has slowly collected parts from different areas and this had led to the construction of other computers, (in particular i can think of only one of his computers that he made out of spare parts). He is currently using my old “build” as his main computer. Since i’ve gotten this new build everything on it has failed left and right. In fact i’ve had more problems then i ever thought possible. I’ve replaced ram, motherboard, power supply, and now i’m going to be replacing the hard drive. What sucks about this is that the replacement has effectively drained what spare funds i had set aside for upgrading AND annihilated any possibility for giving my old parts to trey because each item has broken or failed.

Then i found out i owe BS 1000 dollars. That saps up what extra money i had in my savings and leaves me with a problem. I can’t replace the Hard drive. There is a solution though, but it involves Trey re-configuring his current setup to give me a small drive for personal use till i can purchase a new hard drive. So that explains that situation.

In other news i fly to New York today. When i had money, i had purchased a plane ticket to NYC. All i need to do is finish my metaphysics test early and head to new orleans. Then I fly to New York where i will be picked up by a ravishing beauty with white blond streaks in her dark brown hair. I will probably not do anything except celebrate valentine’s day early. No Film information this trip. I don’t even know what is playing up there. I might go see a film but it would have to be on the cheap.

There was some talk about going to see the cotton club there which is a famous jazz club. This intrigues me but i don’t know if i have the money. Oh well.

enough chit chat…

p.s. You did meet Mary in Blockbuster, which also was the last time i saw you.

-Apparently 2005 marks the fifty year mark for Albert Einstein’s death, and the 100 year mark from when he came up with the physical equations of special relativity. So of course this is going to show itself as the year progresses.

-There was a mock demonstration put on by our congress during the state of the union address. Apparently congress, or more importantly the republican portion of congress, felt it was neccessary to mark certain statements Bush claimed with live-audience feel. This was desribed to me as including but not limited to live gasps of astonishment at our newly found social security dillemma, mild support for recognition of the problem, and overwhelming applause and jubilation for bush’s supposed plan to privatize social security.
—-My one and only statement on this front, since i’m in the process of obtaining the footage of the union, is as follows. Does our government really want to change the country’s perception of government to where we really believe they are simply actor’s and stunt doubles? Is this what i am supposed to gather from their little farce? Because if they honestly want me to believe the current understanding of the social security dilemma (which is hotly contested as to it’s urgency) was just brought to their attention on the night of the state of the union i would be left with the only option left and that is abandoning the country in it’s ignorance. Government shouldn’t be a blatant showman’s game. It is not television. They make real decisions. These decisions kill real people, and save real people. Why the fuck do they think they have the right to make such an institution into a farce. I’m done.

-Apparently Rice (of condelizza fame) has criticized the Iran government. Not to bad except she mentioned two important key points in her statements.
–We have no _immediate_ plans of attack against Iran.
–We plan on making democracy the norm in the middle eastern area, this applies to all middle eastern countries.
—-It is nice of them to qualify their statements with the term immediate. This way they aren’t blatantly lieing to us. I so dislike blatant lies.

-Our senate is looking into limiting class action lawsuits.
—-My question is this, have corporations changed so much since enron and worldcom that they should be trusted even more? Why is it that we have faced some of the most disturbing news recently about corporate interests running counter to individual interests that it would seem outlandish to propose that we limit corporate responsibility. In fact i think we should make corporations more responsible for the problems they create.