This is for family and friends to know exactly what happened with my
family. (I hope most of my family are still reading this, yet I doubt
it.)

Let me begin by saying the good news, my family is safe and alive.

For those unfamiliar with the location of the ramke estate, it is
located in a little rural area called Backer. A nearby tourist
attraction is called the Grotto which according to legend, is a rock
found in the middle of a forest. I on the other hand know that the
“rock” is merely a plaster hollow shell made to look like a rock. But
far be it for me to disprove a religious belief.

My brother resided in our home which is approx 1/6 mile (probably less)
from the vermillion river. My parents had also recently, about 16 days
ago, moved into the sub-house on that plot of land. It is called the
chateaux I believe, spelling is probably off. So when Louisiana came
under hurricane alert, My parents and brother evacuated, which is good
because they may have not been able to survive had they stayed. now.
Since the water has drained out of the area, my parents were able to
visit and find out exactly what was left of their homes.

According to a long telephone conversation last night, it was determined
that a around 4-5 feet of water entered our home destroying all of their
books (big one here, my brother being the scholar he is owned a good
amount of books), electronics (being a fellow geek he had a few of these
gadgets as well that were destroyed), furniture (which means no bed,
couch, tables, refrigerators, stoves, etc.), clothing (might be cleaned,
not sure), and one car.

My family is faced with attempting to rebuild what they had not 7-8 days
ago.

This has to be the most serious setback I’ve ever seen. If I were
religious I’d pray, but realizing prayer is ineffectual I will instead
continue to offer as much assistance as I can to my family. I’ve asked
my boss if I could take time off to go down there and help with the
clean-up effort and he has stated that since next month is a quarterly
month that wouldn’t be possible. SO! I could quit and go down there
are help them out, but they would get really angry at me for doing that
not to mention the financial strain that would put on all parties
involved. In fact it really is not an option.

I feel so helpless.

Here is the thing. This colloquium I think was one of the most
interesting points in my life since moving up to New York. It taught me
two major things about my life. The first is that no matter how much
Philosophy I studied in College, it was simply a guide into much more
rocky and torrential terrain then I could ever have perceived. The
second is that I really enjoy that terrain.

I remember vaguely when during several classes when Professor’s made off
hand remarks about how “unimportant” and “technical” certain words could
be. For instance, Dr. Korcz opened the quagmire called identity and
left it open saying that, “identity theory can get really technical and
complex so lets not concern ourselves with it right now”. during my
metaphysics class. Now you might notice that “identity” comes into the
title of colloquium. It is important to understand that, because in the
end that was a key point to the whole discussion.

Now a second thing you must understand is that I will not be relaying
his whole speech here. I’m simply organizing my own thoughts about the
whole discussion. I did not understand a lot of the verbiage. The
discussion began with an introduction that listed his main concerns.

What does it mean to be a liberal?
– He quotes J.S.Mill in answering this. According to Mill the argument
is similar as to what follows.
P1 There was a point in the past in which I was wrong. (unequivocal
fact. No argument available)
P2 It could be the cast that I am currently wrong in any belief I hold.
C1 Therefore I should approach any contrary opinion with the notion that
they could be conceived correct at some point.

What is identity?
– Now in this example he quotes someone who I’m unfamiliar with (Aier
perhaps? his accent confused the name for me) to describe commitments
and how they are setup as defining identity. This is where it gets
vague and confusing. I.E. No clear cut premises-conclusion structure.
A person has commitments depending on the identity they choose to bind
themselves with. If you identify with the Muslim faith, then you follow
the Koran and other such tenements. He went on to say that you often
adhere to commitments in the present more strongly if in the future you
see your self losing those commitments. In other words, A Muslim sees
his culture dying out and therefore finds himself adhering to
commitments more fanatically then before. This is how a person’s moral
identity is supposed to be structured. This is also how it was given in
the lecture. ……. I feel like I’ve left a lot out.

Another portion of the lecture was spent discussing relations of
commitments. This was a big chunk of the discussion and also a major
point in his argument. His argument is that there seem to be relations
between ideas that are not simply mechanical. (exact terms vary I did
not take notes because I left my pencil at home……… sigh.)

Set one:
– To do philosophy
– To eat vitamins after every meal

Set two:
– To do philosophy
– To do all in one’s ability to please one’s father. (in this example to
do philosophy is not contrary nor counter to pleasing one’s father)

According to him, the second set has a relationship with each other that
cannot be explained mechanically. He argues that it is not the case
that to do one is to also do two, nor is it the case to do in
accomplishing one, two is fulfilled. They are separate ideas not
causally chained in any fashion. He goes on to point out that there
still seems to be a relationship between the two ideas. He steps back
and says that this simple example can be extrapolated to commitments
across the knowledge area and that these relationships make up the
identities of the individual involved.

His conclusion is that the liberalist argument fails when you take into
account the myth of Odysseus (may be incorrect with my knowledge of
Grecian myths, I want to say he called the guy Sisyphus but I know it
isn’t that myth). When Odysseus lashes himself to the mast and tells
his shipmates to not let him free no matter what he will say in the
future, there is an understanding that Odysseus future self will have
commitments that are different then what his commitments are now. Now
let us assume that in the future while lashed to the ship, another ship
appears and attempts to capture the ship. If Odysseus argues in the
future that they should unlash him to fight off the invading ship, then
he would be obeying by a commitment of his previous self and yet the
commitment would be evaluated using a new means of evaluation.

My overall understanding of this is seriously rocky, and I don’t think I
should post this. I am assuming that this contradiction between
previous selves and future selves makes the argument for liberalism
flawed and not as inductive as it should be. Hmm… let me think about
this some more. A major comment through the discourse is that Mill’s
setup is to create an argument that is deductive and all inclusive and
not reliant upon evaluative stances. In other words, his argument is as
base and core to understanding as all other arguments should be. This
is also the appeal. The contents within his argument cannot be disputed
as far as I can tell, it is just the conclusion that raises concern.

And also to structure a system in which i will be updating this information. To begin with, I will in fact be updating my blog more readily. I have instituted a plan that will ensure that at least twice a week the blog will be updated.

The reason for lack of bloging is that since i’ve begun searching for jobs, my free time is spent divided between fun things and redoing my resume/coverletter and searching for more job opportunities.

Before i continue, let me take a moment and make a statement. Katrina was a horrendous occurance for the south-eastern portion of Louisiana, and in a small way I was pleased my family had escaped unscathed. Then Rita stepped up.

My family is currently living out of the Hilton in Lafayette. The future of their home is bleak. When Rita struck apparently the storm surge has caused massive flood damage. Spatterings of reports leave very little hope for My family’s home escaping untouched. This means that very possibly, My family will not have a home to go home to. The school my mother teaches at in Henry Louisiana has been flooded, and there is some concern that my father’s office in Intracoastal actually has water inside it (surprising since it was build on piers at least 16 ft above the normal sea level.)

I recieved this news as of Saturday. Let us just hope that this all goes by with the minimalist damage whatsoever. At least my family is still in one piece, and alive. That is certainly one way of looking at it.

ok these are some Future Post Hints:
1) I’ve recently gone to a philosophy colloquiem that discussed the topic entitled, “Liberalism and the psychology behind moral identities.” It was very entertaining but also cryptic to me in some senses. I have to try and rebuild the discussion from my mind and that will take time. It also will require some severe remembering. Anyways, this is my first and foremost project.

2) I will discuss my recent weekend’s events that consist of visiting Washington D.C. I went to the maryland renaissance fair. It was a great time overall. There were some rocky moments, specially driving back with Mary. Sometimes we just cannot talk to each other in a manner the other finds attractive. It always escalates into something that shouldn’t happen. All the same, i’m sure no long term feelings were hurt. All that is necessary is that we should spend a couple days apart. (Weeks? perhaps months? teee-heee….)

3)Third topic of discourse will be about yojimbo and Kirosawa’s filming techniques. I will attempt to analyze this movie in a manner that is a search for his artistic streak.

Once you get out of practice, its hard to get back into the grove.

On the eve that Katrina struck, i was talking to my mom about how bad New Orleans would take to the effect. People around my office were chiding about how the city was like a great big bowl, and if the water broke the levee, there would be complete disaster. These were often followed by statements regarding the nature that is New Orleans. (In case you are oblivious to New Orlean’s major acknowledgements -> Debauchery and sin are a few trademarks of that historical city.)

After the hurricane struck and the devastation was truley measured, the attitude in my office changed drastically. They acknowledge and paid concerns about my family’s well-being, and they also shared in the disbelief that such a tragedy could occur.

Why is it we feign ( or at least feign the feign ) forgettfullness about our recent history. I got lost in that last sentence let me begin anew. Why is it that we predict things accurately, but when our predictions come true we find solace in feigning our intellectual predicitions? Why is it better to act like we were blind-sided then actually take responsibility for predicting and failing to follow through with the actions?

I was learning aboout New Orlean’s future failure in 6th grade. My louisiana history/sociology/social studies class was talking about the history of the Mississippi river and how it would change course one day causing New Orleans to flood immensly in the transition. We also talked about how the levees strangle the revitalization efforts of the floods and cause coastal errosion. (the exact mechanics is that much like Egypt and the Nile, Louisiana was built by the mississippi flooding and depositing soil deposits [poigniant name] on the ground which built up the land around it and created very fertile land, by creating levees we have quelled the flooding and therefore the coastline is still deteriorating and the gulf is carrying the sediment elsewhere.) We talked about the sea level and how far below New Orleans is exactly, usually coupled with a discussion of how high mount everest is comparatively.

In the end what do we gain from assigning blame one way or the other. I wonder how much humanity learns from their mistakes. Will we build New Orleans “bigger better faster and stronger”? minus the faster part. Or will we cut corners again and simply create a reasonable facsimilie because in the end who lives in New Orleans? It certainly doesn’t house the rich. They are on the east coast and the west coast. Gulf coast has no real monetary gain except for it’s oil industry.

My final thought of the night comes down the political wrangling caused by the current onslaught. So many people want to blame President Bush for the failure we face, i blame the people who voted for him. When they voted for Bush, they voted to stay in Iraq “till it was finished”, and for our country to continue to ignore environmental awareness. (i know let me explain this last part. There is some arguments going around, the same arguments that have been flowing for the last couple years, that this is an effect of “global warming”. Most environmental scientists agree “global warming” is happening. The disagreement is over the cause. Is it a natural life cycle for the planet to go through? Did human development/pollution cause an expedited version of the threat? I don’t know personally, and i believe the evidence is not conclusive either way. What i’m angry about now is the current trend in gas prices and how we say we want alternative fuel sources and yet we fail to vote for representation that will make such desires occur. Is this a rant? It feels very rant-like. I don’t even pay gas. I just see that people will lose jobs because they can’t pay for fuel and ergo cannot go to work to make more money, but the economy builds checks and balances right? maybe people will get jobs closer to home, maybe they will develop alt. fuel sources. I don’t know. All the same. My point is that Global warming is occuring, and that doesn’t seem to be controversial.

So is bush to blame? I haven’t a clue and i could care less, we can’t impeach him right now, so lets just wait out the rest of the four years and elect someone who fits more with my ideals. Vague? Well its my blog, so i can be vague. Perhaps i will enlighten you one day about my ideals. And no they aren’t clear and concise.

It is a spiffy computer. Lots of speed and the best part is it isn’t nearly as loud nor hot as my last computer chassi.

New Orleans was seriously hit hard. I’m not surprised of course, and i feel horrible about the devastation. It is a very tragic scene, i’m very pleased my family and friends are safe and sound.

I plan to begin regularly updating now. At least once or twice a week. I got off of work early today because of labor day next monday. I also don’t have to go to work then either. All-In-All, i’m very pleased with my current setting.

I visited with Weatherly Thursday night. She is doing very well, aside from some “urban” difficuties like holes in the bathroom floor giving a clear view of the apartment below you, and difficulty with driving and directions. All of these “difficulties” will fade though. She has enough experience i believe from her previous visits to be more acclimated to the environments up here.

I’m going to do a post soon about something other then myself. (WHOO!) I know this will be dissappointing to some (meaning mom) and pleasing to others (meaning everyone else), but it simply must be done. I saw an article in the New Yorker (shown to me by Mary) about language and truth. The article read like a freshmen exploration through epistemology. It was interesting, except I am not exactly sure i agree with some of their statements.

All the same, it was a nice read. It made me want to get the article on bullshit and read it.

I know… I know… My silence here has been resounding. Here is the thing. I got back from my trip home and Mary was in “writer” mode. This means any and all computer time requested on the docket was met with intense scrutiny and almost automatic denial. So, while the silence was perpetuated on the board/diary/electronic page, my life was anything but silent.

A few more heated discussions occured between me and UPS. UPS can be a stingy uncaring bitch, or i should say UPS’s representation. I got my settlement reward, and sometime next week i will be recieving my computer via ………………………… UPS. Dell couldn’t change their carrier no matter what i argued. So i might get a computer, or a box full of brand new broken parts. Not sure yet what will happen. I’m not getting my hopes up.

Work isn’t going so well. Apparently what was percieved as a victory in the begining has really kind of turned around and bit me on the ass. This is not to say that I did not forsee this occurence, but in the end i had hoped the world would prove more pleasant. If you tell a selfish egotistical person to stop treating you as though you killed their dog, then they take offense. I was only hoping it would fix itself, and it has yet. So i’m currently looking for alternative employment. This doesn’t mean that i’ve quit/been fired/laid off, this simply means i want to leave this company as fast as possible. What makes it more annoying is that i am not really pleased with the work itself. It is an accounting department. I dislike accounting, and what is more important is i dislike the lawfirm i’m working for. I’m helping big corporations lower the settlements on cases so that the victims of corporate neglect don’t get the correct compensation.

Sure i’m also helping the corporations pay less money to people who are looking to “rob” or “screw” corporations out of money the victim’s don’t diserve. Either way, both interpretations take on a view of the world that i’m not pleased to be working with. I’d like to be helping a noble cause in some way shape or form. I hope something comes up.

something. Hell i’d do accounting for an organization that i believe in and enjoy the fuck out of it. I would feel like i was apart of something bigger that i believed in.

yes well back to the drawing board.

I’m discusted about our country’s political stature. i’m also very tired so i will neglect the rambling. I fly home tomorrow. Yes, i call new jersey home. It is a strange phrase for me, but this place is not where home is anymore. I have created a little place with Mary and i feel comfortable there. I feel uncomfortable here, to say the least. Seeing family and friends had to be one of the best experiences possible, but next time i have some time off, i would like to spend it with Mary doing something together. I would also enjoy saving some money, that would be nice.

I spent a lot of money. oh well, tomorrow i fly home.

I have a favor to ask you Mary, as i think you will probably read this. I would really like it if you picked me up from the airport. I know you don’t want to fight traffic, i’m willing to wait till 7:00 for you to come pick me up. I just don’t feel like going through rush hour- subway/path train traffic and then there are the random searches in the subways. If i go in with my bags i know i will be searched, and i’d rather not. Call/message me and tell me no before hand, and if yes tell me still.

I loved visiting with my family, my dad seems to be doing very well. He stopped smoking. Mom is doing very well, and she seems to be exceptionally pleased with my stability in NYC. I’m not teaching in a school that is needy so i think i succeeded in fulfilling her desires.

Visiting with WDuluoz has to have been one of the major highlights of my trip down here. I love him so much, and i envy so many different things that he has. I see the hardships he must endure, and hope he understands that i will always be there for him. I also realize how much he has been there for me. I look forward to November when he comes to NYC and I can try and finish talking him into moving up there. He showed me his integration program, and i poked around on his computer seeing it all. It is astounding what he has done with happypoet. I only hope it fulfills his desires. He certainly has given me a home here, and i appretiate that.

I met with Snaars and enjoyed every moment. We brought debates from his blog into reality, and discussed our own interpretations of certain philosophical implications. I miss that. I miss having such a long discussion that it covers archs and pathways that in the end we are fully lost in the idea. We covered memes, religion, atheism, politics, witgenstein, etc. Our conversation was a living organism. In the end we talked about work. We talked about how much certain traits in employers suck. I bitched, and he bitched.

Today i spent time with Ronnie. Man his life is going really good. He did excellent on his classes, and he has decided to maintain his previous credits. He is going to graduate in a set of classes that he will be doing very well monetarily. He is doing ok financially. His family is nearby. I mean after talking to him, i keep thinking that somewhere someone is having a shitty life, because his dark cloud has move on.

I also spent time with Grayden. My only regret is that i had wished i’d have spent more time with him during the day. I was really tired, and as such i was probably a horrible guest. I felt sluggish. We talked politics, about the past, and even about the future. It was a discourse on a lot of subjects over a good chunk of time. I faded out at some points. I was seriously wiped out. I’m still wiped out.

I just wanted to finish this… i needed to finish this. Tomorrow i fly home. I fly home to Mary. I do in fact miss Mary a great deal.

Wish i could have talked to her tonight.

Everyone says I look different. Mom says I look more handsome, she is a good liar i believe. Trey didn’t even recognize me when i walked into the hilton, he gave me the “fuck a customer” look. I was hurt for a brief second then he looked up again and was shocked when I shrugged.

Shame that eh?

I’m home. Chatting with family. Its nice. I think i just angered dad. I thought i could write this, but who knew my family wants to talk to me eh? hehe. Oh well i’m gone… Scheduled some free time to hang out tomorrow with Snaars. Hoping to get together with Ronnie Tuesday. It should be nice to be around friends.

P.S. My parents want to me fix a computer glitch with this internet connection. Apparently trey has messed around with and couldn’t come up with a solution, problem is if trey doesn’t know the answer i’m going to be sore pressed. Let’s see if we can get the computer working.

P.S.S I’m tired. long trip

The evils of soft rock/disco. Imagine the scenario, I work in an office smaller then my apartment and it has the above choices of music acting as a medium for my worktime experience. Its annoying…

Tonight D- is coming over with his brother and his brother’s girlfriend to play poker. It should be fun. Don’t think its going to be for real money though, which is good i guess.

I went to see the puppet opera, that was kewl.

Ok here i go, the real topic i want to discuss are the recent rash of bombings. Apparently london has been struck twice, and egypt has also been struck. It is not looking good. They now have places setup near subways that allow police to check baggages before getting on subways. If you don’t let them check the bags you can’t get on the subway.

Pros: We are safer…….. right? I mean if they check the backpacks before getting on the subway, then terrorists won’t bring bombs onto the trains right? But what if the terrorist didn’t know about the bomb screening brings the bomb and activates it at the bomb screening part? always wondered about that. Is the bomb screening part of the subway bomb proof? or will people still be killed? because i’ve seen the airport screening parts and if someone were to bring a bomb there and activate it, the lives lost would be pretty devastating.

Cons: We lose our right to privacy right? Well lets think about this, have we really ever had a right to privacy? Does such a right even exist? I mean we allow people, in most part, the right to think as they want, but in the streets you lose pretty much any right to privacy. You cannot carry concieled fire-arms, etc. What about unlawful search and seizure? well what exactly is unlawful? i mean the word law references a body of rules and regulations that is mobile and maleable. In other words, Laws change. It is unlawful to commit sodomy in the state of louisiana to this day, but we all understand that sodomy occurs in new orleans on a daily basis. It was unlawful to sneeze on the streets of new york, but it is not unlawful now. The beauty of laws is that they change over time, but it is also the negative side. See we appeal to moral standards that are understood as unchanging in order to bolster the laws we create for society. My point is that i am not sure there is a moral law that states you have the right to walk around the streets with bags that are not able to be checked.

BUT

major but… there is not a moral code/law/understanding that i know of that dictates one individual (call him/her a policeman/woman if you want) the right to examine every single object and pass judgement on the person they examine. Point in fact, the movie Crash gives a damn good example of this. Police are humans also, and as such they fall under specific human flaws. It is all about being human. I am not sure i agree with giving one human the right of power over another human just because they demonstrate the ability to go to school for a couple months and learn the memoranda necessary. I don’t have the answer. I just have this testimonial:

I woke up one morning and walked out of my house and entered the path train and like usual i met the path train guards and nodded, smiled and said good morning. The following morning i walked out of my house and into the path train and the same guard i had nodded to and smiled to was holding an automatic rifle. Behind him was his partner with the same plastic strap hung around his neck. They didn’t do anything else except that one modication. The whole situation was changed. I never smiled and nodded at him again.

The absurdity of the situation struck me. What the hell was the mandate for the automatic rifle to be present between me and this officer? What could they possibly have hoped to accomplish other then a show of force. I’ve gone back to my smile and nod as time has progressed, but every-so-often they don the rifle again. As time passes i’m reminded again and again exactly why the prisoners never rebel against the prison guards, and time again it strikes me that the prison guards don’t even understand the parameters of the prison they also find themselves within.

Good news:
(woman who holds the fate of my computer in her hand) called. She said she was delaying the check because there was a chance i could get my hard drives back. She said they have a tracer out for the box and that they will try and find it and remove the hard drives and send them to me. They will deduct the cost of the hard drives and refund the rest of the money when they come across the hard drives, if they are able to do this.

I watched adaptation tonight again, for the third time. I really love that movie. I will post more about my love later, when i have more time. I can’t write when someone reads over my sholders and corrects words every second mocking me. Because of this, i told the woman i love to get out of the room. She got pissed. So now i have to find a way to make it up to her, i really hate it when she corrects me as i type though.

goodnight