I did not mention that one of my mentors has cracked. This isn’t completely new. I enjoyed talking to him most because he was a physicist concerned with existential problems. He was unique from the begining because he was also taking a very liberal arts approach to the existential dillemma. In the end his search to answer the question took a dark turn.

I hate the fact that looking back at my past few interactions with him were interactions full of judgement and a lack of concern. I was selfishly motivated. Concerned primarily with my own search and neglecting his all-too obvious calls for assistance. What could i have done?

Now i find i have a distinct desire to get in touch with him to find out his story. So fucking typical, i know. I tend to only get interested in radicals when they actually destroy their lives to make their point heard. I tune my ears and try and listen. So what is his story?

Love vs Hate
Jump through the hoops….. they will make your stronger……
in the end i’m done…..

i’m tired.. nietzsche is pissing me off.. how can someon look around at humanity and say that pity murdered God. Fuck Nietzsche. It is that mentality that gives rise to such hatred. The belief that humanity should stand above it’s predecessors and embrace the dionysian side while redefining arbitrary and saying it doesn’t exist. It seems like Nietzsche believes he can define things in and out of existence. God? dead, negate the existence because he is an entity that evolves out of humanity, i.e. ubermensche. Morality as Arbitrary? no no no, morality isn’t arbitrary the world is arbitrary and therefore morality must be able to adapt!… ergo it becomes ARBITRARY!

fuck nieztsche and fuck people who like nieztsche… growl argh i’m in a bad fucking mood.

New components. I’m writing this because I’m in a very bad mood, and Nietzsche isn’t helping. Morality is designed out of the strong. Yesterday I was sitting in the hall in the library when I began running over evidence and belief itself. I was staring at a book that claimed morality is something that should take into account moral strength. In one word, it could be called social Darwinism. I began weighing the evidence for the herd mentality.

Current argument I’m supporting is that the average human is existentially concerned, or at least concerned enough about life to answer pseudo-existential questions.

Opposing viewpoints, the human community is not concerned with existential problems at large and therefore they wander around like zombies from stimuli to stimuli.
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Sometimes i love it. Self idignant anger. unappologetic.

pure.

snap

the debate is tonight at 8:00

Schitzophrenic light hearted tale about existence, that doesn’t take itself too seriously, or the subject for that matter.

The rest is spoilers.
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So i went to New York the other day… yes i’m starting off a post by refering to my extensive travels… in the last few months i’ve grown into a person i never thought i’d be.

Items of interest i never thought would happen to me in my life:
– meeting a woman who was married and falling in love…
– falling in love with a woman who applied for and recieved a divorce, but then moved to New York.
– discovered that the woman i love is insane… literally… coooo koooo…. but i still love her…
– become a frequent flying member of a specific airline
– make plans for my life that don’t begin with the phrase, “i’d like to” instead begin with, “I will”
– pay rent… man that sucks..
– pay electricity wow.. big one there…
– OWN A CELL PHONE… hate… pure hatred..
– document clever little details about my life on the interenet…

anyways i’m digressing. I’m changing also, of course in a more literal sense. My life is not what i thought it would be. This is not bad. Change is not always good and it is not always bad. In my case it was neccessary. I was going to change because my previous existence was one of a passive nature. Now i’m actively seeking things out to complete. Life. Series of events needed to be completed. progression to death….

You Wasted Life, Why Wouldnt You Waste Death?

I saw the house of flying daggers and there will be more on this later… I’ve been meaning to pop a review of Garden State up here because i think it might please those reading this… is anyone reading this?

I also saw I Heart Huckabees. A review will be up for it also… i’m going to probably just write synopsis’ of movies i enjoy or hate since i watch so many of them. I also saw The Crying Game… Last Tango in Paris… and more i can’t think of at this second…

oh well.

The end result is a world of chaos

played pikmin 2… interesting puzzle game.. cute as hell too…

saw a beautiful movie… The house of the flying daggers… more later…

I did a little research today on my anthropology paper… whoo hoo fun eh? yeah i know…

this is it..

don’t post me…

And it was awesome….. I’ve never been then interested in two presidential candidates in my life. We see here the machinations of the political machine. The polite handshakes while biting each other’s ideological balls off. It is an awesome spectacle. I am pleased i was able to watch it.

I could analyze the whole debate giving pointers to each combatant but it isn’t going to happen. Needless to say this was the first time i saw ideologies collide between these two candidates. Suddenly it comes down to the important notion of judgement. One judges the presidents history beneficial for the country, another judges the president’s history as a negative for the country. Funny that. It goes into more specifics.

In fact i have to give them credit.. they stayed on tact… not losing a beat. Keeping the argument on the points, and focusing on idealogies. Very nice debate. Bush did this wrong. Kerry is unclear about this. Kerry is wrong by thinking this. Bush is wrong by assuming this. It was all very well done…
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I’m drunk, and right now i’m so in love with you… and i don’t want to think too much about what we should or shouldn’t do… lay my hands on heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars… while the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car…. there is nothing quite like the feeling of something new….

yes i stole those sentiments from a singer… i don’t know it captures something i’d like to feel.

I was recently told my old journal was boring… it reeked of the adult lecturer and not the creative aspects of the child…

I say fuck the world who doesn’t like the products of my mind….

it has recently been brought to my attention i curse too much… a little birdy named consciousness told me. from here on out language regulation shall begin for fear of offending the eyes of wanderers…

wanderers.. lets run down daily events… i talked to Mary briefly… i went to my parents and we talked a little bit about the future occurences…

in the end i talked to myself a lot in narrative mindspeech i.e. reading…

i’m finished…