only because i’m not exactly sure it is accurate.
but here we go.
| You are a Social Liberal (80% permissive) and an… You are best described as a: Socialist
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid |
new song rinse repeat…
the lyrics continue on the cold low down beat.
washing over me…
the end is never the end, merely a begining of a new thing.
Like a car, i am repaired, but in the process i’ve lost my soul.
monotony. rutt.
nevermind.
today was a bad day. that is the most clear understantement i can give.
A newly found habit. I will attempt to blog at least once a week, and sunday will be my upload date. If you expect me to give you a time, then you asking for more then i can give.
I wish i could blame my lack of blogging on lack of interesting activities, but i really must blame my lack of blogging on having too many interesting activities in which leaving very little room to actually document my life. Which was one of the reasons of having this blog. The other was to clarify ideas. I enjoy the later more then the former.
SO what have i been up to, you might ask. my answer is as follows formatted in bullet style for your viewing pleasure and idealic cohesion.
Work
– Well it is official. The seven cases that went to trial a long time back, settled before the first plaintiff spoke. Our client was exceptionally pleased. And the partners who handled the case were pleased with my work. So i was given more cases going to trial.
– Our most senior legal assistant (paralegal) resigned three weeks from last friday, and had his last day a week from last friday. I was given all of his cases that were with LIRR, who was our client in the above mentioned bulletin.
– Another para resigned on the same days respectively, giving me some of her LIRR work, primarily IME billing. Inane work, time absorptive.
– Girlbean started around two weeks ago and i’m pleased to say she doesn’t hate her job yet. Since she has started, i have enjoyed eating lunch and talking about interesting non-tv-related items, and even psuedo-intellectual items as well. Also it is interesting hearing her interpretations of the work place.
Personal Life
– Two weeks ago we went to Niagara falls. It was awesome. Best vacation i’ve ever had to date. Well let’s be honest, it is the only vacation i’ve had where i was an adult able to make up my mind where i wanted to go. (Scratch that, i guess going to bloomington, i had freedom to choose, but very little money also.)
– last night i saw two movies that i enjoyed.
First: The City of God: It was an exceptionally beautiful film. The editing was excellent. The cinematography was gritty and realistic. The angles were gorgeous. The story was vivid and real, due to it being based on a true story. The city is exceptionally fucked up, like a city with the pretense of God should be. Overall: I highly reccomend viewing this once. It is like Hotel Rowanda, in that you have to see it at least once to truly understand life in all it’s facets.
Second: Thank you for Smoking: Cute, slightly witty. Not as witty as the trailer makes it out to be. There are some strange lines in the movie that irk me. I hate the use of rhetoric to bypass truth, but then again i knew i’d hate that part of movie. His use of rhetoric was exceptionally well planned and executed. The editing was very sharp. The story was a bit awkward. He never really questioned the moral judgements he made on a day to day basis, and there certainly wasn’t a character change over time. It could be interpreted as an ironic movie, and perhaps it was. There just were too many truthes to make the irony stark. Overall: Not a big reccomendation, but it certainly was a “pleasant and enjoyable” movie if that suits your mood.
-okay enough typing. That feeling is coming back.. the feeling that forces me to abandon so many entries as drafts. It is the feeling of a lack of progression.
LSAT update: I’m studying, its june 12th. I’m scared.
Today begins, and all the surprises are in wait. Let the goodtimes begin. I love you Mary.
Also happy psuedo anniversery.
Best 2 years of my life…
Here is for more to come.
BY the way. I will be incommunicado for the next four days as i’m fleeing the country, in the same vein as many vietnam vets. I’m going to Canada. WOO HOOO!
Instructions: Go to Wikipedia, type in your birthday, but not the year, and select three events, births, and deaths that share that day with you.
Events.. does it just have to be three?! I CHOOSE FOUR! One is of a personal note. So much shit happened on my little bitty day.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-EVENTS!-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
1939 – New York City’s La Guardia Airport opens. -> This is a nice personal point. I used this airport a lot. I’m glad it opened on my b-day. Used to fly in and out of this place on a regular basis. Long distance relationships. LGA has a soft spot in my heart.
1942 – Manhattan Project: A team led by Enrico Fermi initiate the first self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction. -> Arguably the birth of the most destructive device in the world. Can’t beat that.. And no it wasn’t ME! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!! or was it. .. …
1954 – Red Scare: The United States Senate votes 65 to 22 to condemn Joseph McCarthy for “conduct that tends to bring the Senate into dishonor and disrepute.” -> The United States Senate wakes up after allowing one of the most dishonorable actions in american History. Hey this is a good thing.
2001 – Enron files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. -> Perhaps the end of corporate greed and malicious activities?! One can only hope.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-BIRTHS-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
OH NO THIS REALLY BITES!
ALL THE BIRTHS SUCK!…………………………………………………………
EVEN SATAN HERSELF WAS BORN ON MY DAY! BRITNEY SPEARS! ONE YEAR AFTER I WAS BORN!
I must scrub myself now. Cleanse myself of my hated day.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-DEATHS-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Had some famous deaths on my date.
1814 – Marquis de Sade, French writer (b. 1740)
1859 – John Brown, American abolitionist (hanged) (b. 1800)
And finally, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but it is true.
It came as a shock to everyone, i know.
On december 2nd 1957, Harrison Ford died.
Yes , yes we all know. He was a great actor. Who could forget his most memorable films and works? He made movies seem more special. We will miss him.
Let me begin with a warning. A caveat if you will. Buyer Beware.
This post will have questions. More questions the answers. It will be a mild intellectual foree with the intention of making progress, but i forsee failure.
The cause of this failure? Identity.
The confusing black whole that is identity. Honestly what makes identity so difficult? One word, change. Heraclitus, well known philosopher is quoted as saying, “No man steps over the same river twice.” The point is that our world is in a constant flux, or steady cycle of progression/regression.
Let me stop here for a second. There is a difficulty when you work with philosophy, language gets in the way. Vagueness creeps in with the use of metaphor and similie, while contradictions arise with direct assertions. Language always tends “muck” philosophy up. Without too much mucking about, lets attempt this.
So Identity lets begin by identifying indentity……………… fuck it happened way to soon.
Identity seems to be linked in some way with change.
– Without identity, would there be change? This is a difficult question. This is due to the nature of change itself. One definition of change is the process that occurs between object A in time state 1 and object A in time state 2 where object At2 is different from object At1. I know, I’m getting technical. But it actually illuminates something. It illuminates the necessity of indentity. How can something change, if something cannot be defined or identified? If we are working with nothing, then who is to say it changes?
– If there were no change, would there be identity? This seems plausible. We can have a singularity that simply exists, but never changes. And yet we understand it is a singularity and so identity does exist.
Thought experiment:
So imagine two globuals that make up all of existence. Globual A and globual B. A has only one property, the property of not being B. B has only one property, the property of not being A. Here we have identity at it’s most basic existence. Identity exists simply as the negation of another identity. Doesn’t that seem to beg the question though? I feel a riddle being born, which came first the indentity, or the identity of identity. Can identity truly exist as a self-referential entity?
And so we breach the theory of knowledge. Foundationalist theories abound. So there must be a foundation, if not it is absurd. If something is self-referential then it is self-defeating. No new knowledge can be obtained by explaining something with itself.
So then why do we identify objects in the world so clearly and readily? Why is it i can say, my car, my existence, your child and therefore your problem? These all deal with calculated statments summing up the existence of objects within the world.
Pragmatisim that is why. We need identity to make it around in our world. If i can’t identitify the ground from the sky, what would stop me from attempting to fly? How would i even understand the concept of flying? So we adopt a quick and dirty understanding of identity while wreaking havoc and spurning confusion left and right.
But there is one part of identity that i failed to describe. (actually there are tons, but one big part). That part deals strictly with the thought games.
see also Identity and Change
Have fun with this… It was simply a mind explosion on the page. I didn’t clean up aftermyself either. Excuse the mess.
I know i haven’t posted much lately, i’ve been kind of working late/tired/brain felt like mush.
My brain still feels like mush.
But, now i’m posting. I had a very interesting weekend. I got together with a friend of mine, and went out exploring the city. I’ll be honest. I haven’t done much in New York since moving here. There has always been more important things to spend money on then going out.
Well surprise there still are more important things to spend money on outside of going out on the town, but I am begining to notice a trend. The more i spend money on things “more important” the more things i find that are more important.
So i decided that i would like to go out one night, and had the impetice to do this exact thing.
The night began at a pool hall where i learned all my skillz have dried up. I’m worthless again. not worth a damn. Worse then i’ve ever been. Pool has fled my skill-set. I need a table so i can practice. The place we went was a little place called Fat Cat Billiards. I can’t wait to show Trey and Dad when they come up here. The place is great. Live jazz music, including an eclectic set of gaming devices. You have pool tables, ping pong tables, chess tables, foosball tables, scrabble tables…. yes scrabble tables… It is a big thing now apparently. Scrabble championships etc. It may be as big as chess one day.
Let me stop here for a second and remind the reader, that i’ve changed. I am very accepting of alcohol at this point. I would not say that i’m an alcoholic yet (one night out of a month can’t be alcoholic yet can it?) and i doubt i’ll ever be, but i’ve succomed the peer pressure of my environment and found it easier to order a drink then to explain why it is i do not drink.
If i had some lofty intitiative or statement and claim about the activity as a whole, then i’d stick to my conclusion re: alcohol. As it has been i have found no real change occur with the consumption of alcohol. As soon as i recognize a change in state i may back off of said consumption. As it is I enjoy the environment and activities involving alcohol.
You see the problem was, i was arguing for a completly sober and concious reality. I have yet to have my conscious altered by alcohol though. I feel anesthetized, but not altered. And So i’ve adopted the cowards commital. Does it make me weak?
So back to the story at hand. So the alocholic consumption begins now. I begin light with hard lemonade. The lemonade was weak, but it was to bypass the fact that my game had been out the window. Movement on the table in all directions, but no balls falling. I sucked. Only thing that made me feel better, was i was winning. Somehow.
The place is very laid back, and the crowd is incredibly mixed. Two women in the back playing ping pong, i glance over to see them laugh and begin kissing. Averting my eyes i notice the game is still going shitty. So i decide that this is going to be the last game. But the game lasts long. The female couple move from the ping pong table to an empty pool table. One of them walks up to me and Trey (a friend, not my brother confusing yet? wait for it…) stating that all the pool cues are light. I say yeah took me a bit to find this one, and she takes it from me. I shrug and trey says, “you need to lose the nice guy mentality, you will just get burned. You can’t hold the door open for all the women in this city, you’ll never get anywhere.”
I comment that i was tired of my suck-ass pool skills, it was a disgrace for my past, and bring up the offer to get something to eat. Outside the hall we begin moving along the labertine streets. Bleeker….. I’m lost at this point… No idea where i came from. Trey walks into a room with no discernable label.
“all the good places aren’t labeled on the outside,” The hallway curves to the left and behind a black curtain is the jam packed room with a roaring fireplace. The noise is unreal and constant. We are seated right next to the fireplace. I’m sweltering.
Angel’s Share: After meeting up with the girl we head to this packed little japanese restaurant and head to this unmarked door again. Pushing it open we find a quaint little japanese alcohol bar. Very adult like atmosphere and exceptionally classy clientele. After we are seated, i order the best screwdriver i’ve ever had in my life.
poison of choice btw…. posion? honestly… so dramatic…. I’m actually russian it appears. This joke seems to have been used before i think.
Moving on, we talk about a thousand different topics. I don’t really talk. I offer comments every so often, but i’m not an exceptionally verbose individual. I have topics of interest that are not considered “light” discourse. So the night progresses and the young woman mentions that she knows the voice of Gambit from the X-men cartoon. He prides himself on getting that accent correct. she proceeds to instruct me on how he went about finding the “source” of that accent.
I stopped her and told her that every geek i knew in Louisiana hated the way he butchered the new orleans accent. She laughed. I said but please don’t destroy his dream. Let him believe he is acurately portraying the south louisiana gentlemen.
At this point i realize i’m about as uncomfortable as ever, due to the nature of my seat. Apparently the seats were sized for japanese because i’m way to tall for it. I ask if we could get out of here, and we decide to head to the financial district to meet up with a “party” the girl knew of. As we made our way south we cut through china town. The young woman decides that she should invite her amazon friend out with us. We end up going into her home and see this huge loft style apartment. It is very beautiful, if not barren. We head to the irish pub where i listen to incredibly loud music and incredibly a woman drone on about her sexual exploits.
I came to this conclusion. Some people are so lonely that they have no inhibitions regarding their own private life. She was one of these people. She had to have lived in manhattan for at least 5 years and she reminded me of a firefly in the forests of louisiana. Strange eh? I know bear with me. She just continues to blink on and off, regardless the lack of security she creates for herself. In the end she is doing what she can to be recognized. It was highly annoying, because she kept stating some of the most ludicrous things. I think she also was incredibly “into” trey. I’ll be honest, he was at the center of every woman’s attention that night.
In the end he had a woman to go home to, and i’m sure that kept him straight. I cut out early. I was tired of listening to the woman beg for attention. Cult in wiscosin or some such, apparaently she grew up in it. Yeah…….. ok.
So thats the conclusion of my night. I wound my way through the streets toward the path train to get home at 1:45… Mary was asleep and i was still wide awake. I was also amazed at how I was sober.
love this quote… my next post is going to be philosophical, beware. IT is a philosophical rant about identity…
Hello friend… please come in… have a seat.. Can I get you anything? cookie? water? milk?
I know you must have a thousand questions, but please let me begin.
We here at Arglor Enterprises Inc pride ourselves on being on top of situations like yours.
We are proud of our reputation as problem solvers, your virtual swiss army knife for any possible situation.
We understand exactly what it is that you need, and why it is that you need it now.
So it is with this understanding that I offer my condolences for the past and my visions for the future. The future of you that is.
So what do you say? Are you ready to make the commitment?
———————————————————————————————–
You can fight it. Everyone tries, but when you’re bombarded enough your spine begins to break. The muscles seize up and tighten. Your soul all but vanishes from inside. Something shrivels up inside and begins to reek.
In the beginning I was resolute in untucking my shirt. It was instinct. There was the “they” and there was the “I”. Existential crisis averted. As long as I held on to the “I”, there was nothing that couldn’t happen. Unfortunately that is not the case.
Lines are crossed. Statements are said. Conclusions are drawn.
Now I don’t fight as much. My shirt was tucked in a couple days ago as I walked into the house. It struck me as odd. It didn’t even feel uncomfortable.
Hmm.
Go see this website video. It left me in awe.
Be warned. It is 36 minutes long.
Will Wright is designing that game… He designed The Sims.
Process driven animation.
I met a fellow philosopher at LCBF. He studied philosophy at the university of texas and apparently focused his studies on Immanuel Kant. Kant is a very distinguished philosopher, as i’m sure most of you know. He was also religious. All the same, I’m very pleased that there is someone around here that will laugh when i make sly philosophical jokes about existence and knowledge.
I make a lot of those. No one usually gets them.
It isn’t my fault.
I unfortunately post this.
Yes i’d like to know what attributes you find are most indicitive of me. This is the me-ness that you all think I am. Summed up in five-six words. make it count.
