Category: Entries

Things i have recently done:
– Began listening to various discourses on philosophically oriented activites
– i’ve seen a great deal of good movies
– Story of the Weeping Camel -> very good documentary about the chinese (sp?) nomadic people.
– Spring, Summer, Fall, Winder, ….. and Spring -> very interesting korean film that follows the patterns of nature, the patterns of humanity, and and how both interact with each other. It is in a buddhist setting. Other then the moral truthes one can gleam from the film, a major reason to watch the film is to see the scenery. The film takes place on a floating shrine in the center of a lake and as time progresses the lake changes. It is a beautiful film.
– Serenity -> this is for the geek in me. I like sci fi sometimes, and what better then cowboys in space? I tell you they were made for each other. Cowboys and space that is. Forced me to find and watch the tv show it is based on called firefly. Series is a lot better then the movie, at least it is when they spend their time in space.
– Planning for my brother’s trip to NYC. Trey was supposed to come up here yesterday, but Amanda became very ill and like a very giving and responsible person he postponed his trip here. Amanda is in the hospital right now. She is suffering from vertigo and absolute nausea. She has been vommiting so much that she became dehydrated. Last i heard the doctors couldn’t find a direct cause, and thereby ordered a CAT scan. I hope everything goes well. Certain people haven’t kept me up to date as to her condition. The good news is trey will be rescheduling his flight at a later date, apparently it was pretty cheap rescheduling it. The bad news is that i have to go to NIN concert without him. Of course Mary stepped up and offered to buy the ticket from me, which is actually a lot of help to me and very appretiated, but i can’t help having a desire to have seen NIN with Trey. We also had a Jazz concert scheduled on Tuesday. Mary already had a ticket to go to that, and so we are currently looking for someone else who would like the ticket.
– I really miss Trey. It is strange but i didn’t think his postponing of this engagement would have struck me as hard as it did. I can not even imagine how it has struck him. His desire to come up here was not simply to see me but to escape his current predicament, and i think his was also a desire to see NYC.

I will be so bored this week, and the following weekend. Mary planned on leaving us with the whole apartment next weekend. I was planning on doing a bunch of stuff, but now i will simply have to entertain myself…………… i could always look for a better job…. grrr… or study for the gre… grrrrrrrr….. or ……………………………………………………………………………………….. bleh

Mom talked me down. I’ve had a bad last few days. I’ve sunk into a minor depression. With the failure of the interview, and lack of other interest by any job-givers, this job-seeker begins to question his self-worth. On top of which i keep talking to mom, dad, and trey and hear how bad/not as good as it could be cleanup is going. Today is the worst of the whole situation. They clean up Trey’s book collection. All of trey’s books are ruined. I envied trey’s book collection. His comic collection was something i admired also. Ruined.

I know this has got to be hard on Trey. I have feared this day from the begining. In a bout of insanity, i almost flew down there tomorrow to destroy all the materials so that he wouldn’t have to. Then i found out it would cost me 1300 $s. My boss finally got back to me about potentiatl vacation time. Apparently he talked to the “partners” of the law firm and they agreed unanimously that if the accounting firm could “part” with me for a few days it would be ok with them, they would not bombard the department with bills. Problem is i don’t know when it is good for, and i doubt it is good for in a few months when is the only time i can afford the tickets to fly down there. So i’m stuck. I got the vacation, unpaid btw, just not the money.

So i scoured, travelocity had a much better deal, but i couldn’t finalize the purchase. It was only 700 dollars. That i could afford, but Mom talked me out of doing it. Told me i should save the money for when trey mom and dad come up here, and then spend it on things to cheer them up.

This does nothing for the immense feeling of … for lack of a better description… impotence. I feel so powerless. I find myself cursing my job for not giving me more money, and cursing the situation for not allowing me to be able to go down there and help them. Anything i do will be too late.

Moral of the story: don’t move far away from your family. IT sucks when they need you, and even more when you need them.

It didn’t go so well. I was doing great until she asked me this question, “What in your experience makes you passionate about violent abuse against women?” errr…. uhmmm…

what am i supposed to say about this? Yes in fact i abused a woman yesterday and thought, “Hmm this isn’t right… i shouldn’t do this… in fact i don’t think ANYONE should do this… where is the sanctuary for families organization, i’ll join their org and work to stop ANYONE from hitting another woman again.”

… oh yeah the job i was applying for was an administrative assistant’s position at a local non-proift org called Sanctuary for Families, the organization gives sanctuary for families in abusive situations. The organization also offers legal advice and assistance to these same women. Was the interview bad per say? no not terribly. Was it good? could have been better.

In the end it was an interview and i had some hits and some misses. One particular hit was more of a recovery, but i was asked if i had any questions about the organization, in which i replied, “Yes, i was curious if we get direct observation of the cause and effect relationships between my work and the progress of the organization as a whole.” In which she responded, yes i’m really glad you asked this, that will actually be my job.. detailing how your work is effecting the overall progression of the organization as a whole.

ok well i have to go to lunch.

Well, I got home last night and in a fit of urgency I began scanning the
job postings on Idealist.org in hopes that I could begin working on
getting a job. Well the process used to be like this:
1) Find the job post, bookmark it, begin formulating cover letter and
then adapt the resume to fill the requirements listed for the job.
2) Send my adapted information to Mary where she will read over comment
and then send it back.
3) I would finally review her edits and send the information to the
human resources department.

This would take two days total on a “Quick” run. Recently it took me so
long to edit a job application that the post vanished before I could
send my information and apply. Depressing.

So last night I revised Mary and caution out of the equation. On a whim
I viewed five job opportunities and crafted a cover letter that was far
from perfect, but I assumed would be enough to give me a chance for each
job opportunity. I sent the resume/cal off and didn’t even mark it down
anywhere. Yes, it was a daunting prospect, but I did it. I’ve already
received a response from one application. I have an interview Monday.
I’m excited as hell.

I think it is substantially more money per hour then my current salary,
which would be nice. It is also in New York, which might not be so
nice. Oh well. We will see how it works out.

here is a visual update to my family’s situation…

This is for family and friends to know exactly what happened with my
family. (I hope most of my family are still reading this, yet I doubt
it.)

Let me begin by saying the good news, my family is safe and alive.

For those unfamiliar with the location of the ramke estate, it is
located in a little rural area called Backer. A nearby tourist
attraction is called the Grotto which according to legend, is a rock
found in the middle of a forest. I on the other hand know that the
“rock” is merely a plaster hollow shell made to look like a rock. But
far be it for me to disprove a religious belief.

My brother resided in our home which is approx 1/6 mile (probably less)
from the vermillion river. My parents had also recently, about 16 days
ago, moved into the sub-house on that plot of land. It is called the
chateaux I believe, spelling is probably off. So when Louisiana came
under hurricane alert, My parents and brother evacuated, which is good
because they may have not been able to survive had they stayed. now.
Since the water has drained out of the area, my parents were able to
visit and find out exactly what was left of their homes.

According to a long telephone conversation last night, it was determined
that a around 4-5 feet of water entered our home destroying all of their
books (big one here, my brother being the scholar he is owned a good
amount of books), electronics (being a fellow geek he had a few of these
gadgets as well that were destroyed), furniture (which means no bed,
couch, tables, refrigerators, stoves, etc.), clothing (might be cleaned,
not sure), and one car.

My family is faced with attempting to rebuild what they had not 7-8 days
ago.

This has to be the most serious setback I’ve ever seen. If I were
religious I’d pray, but realizing prayer is ineffectual I will instead
continue to offer as much assistance as I can to my family. I’ve asked
my boss if I could take time off to go down there and help with the
clean-up effort and he has stated that since next month is a quarterly
month that wouldn’t be possible. SO! I could quit and go down there
are help them out, but they would get really angry at me for doing that
not to mention the financial strain that would put on all parties
involved. In fact it really is not an option.

I feel so helpless.

Here is the thing. This colloquium I think was one of the most
interesting points in my life since moving up to New York. It taught me
two major things about my life. The first is that no matter how much
Philosophy I studied in College, it was simply a guide into much more
rocky and torrential terrain then I could ever have perceived. The
second is that I really enjoy that terrain.

I remember vaguely when during several classes when Professor’s made off
hand remarks about how “unimportant” and “technical” certain words could
be. For instance, Dr. Korcz opened the quagmire called identity and
left it open saying that, “identity theory can get really technical and
complex so lets not concern ourselves with it right now”. during my
metaphysics class. Now you might notice that “identity” comes into the
title of colloquium. It is important to understand that, because in the
end that was a key point to the whole discussion.

Now a second thing you must understand is that I will not be relaying
his whole speech here. I’m simply organizing my own thoughts about the
whole discussion. I did not understand a lot of the verbiage. The
discussion began with an introduction that listed his main concerns.

What does it mean to be a liberal?
– He quotes J.S.Mill in answering this. According to Mill the argument
is similar as to what follows.
P1 There was a point in the past in which I was wrong. (unequivocal
fact. No argument available)
P2 It could be the cast that I am currently wrong in any belief I hold.
C1 Therefore I should approach any contrary opinion with the notion that
they could be conceived correct at some point.

What is identity?
– Now in this example he quotes someone who I’m unfamiliar with (Aier
perhaps? his accent confused the name for me) to describe commitments
and how they are setup as defining identity. This is where it gets
vague and confusing. I.E. No clear cut premises-conclusion structure.
A person has commitments depending on the identity they choose to bind
themselves with. If you identify with the Muslim faith, then you follow
the Koran and other such tenements. He went on to say that you often
adhere to commitments in the present more strongly if in the future you
see your self losing those commitments. In other words, A Muslim sees
his culture dying out and therefore finds himself adhering to
commitments more fanatically then before. This is how a person’s moral
identity is supposed to be structured. This is also how it was given in
the lecture. ……. I feel like I’ve left a lot out.

Another portion of the lecture was spent discussing relations of
commitments. This was a big chunk of the discussion and also a major
point in his argument. His argument is that there seem to be relations
between ideas that are not simply mechanical. (exact terms vary I did
not take notes because I left my pencil at home……… sigh.)

Set one:
– To do philosophy
– To eat vitamins after every meal

Set two:
– To do philosophy
– To do all in one’s ability to please one’s father. (in this example to
do philosophy is not contrary nor counter to pleasing one’s father)

According to him, the second set has a relationship with each other that
cannot be explained mechanically. He argues that it is not the case
that to do one is to also do two, nor is it the case to do in
accomplishing one, two is fulfilled. They are separate ideas not
causally chained in any fashion. He goes on to point out that there
still seems to be a relationship between the two ideas. He steps back
and says that this simple example can be extrapolated to commitments
across the knowledge area and that these relationships make up the
identities of the individual involved.

His conclusion is that the liberalist argument fails when you take into
account the myth of Odysseus (may be incorrect with my knowledge of
Grecian myths, I want to say he called the guy Sisyphus but I know it
isn’t that myth). When Odysseus lashes himself to the mast and tells
his shipmates to not let him free no matter what he will say in the
future, there is an understanding that Odysseus future self will have
commitments that are different then what his commitments are now. Now
let us assume that in the future while lashed to the ship, another ship
appears and attempts to capture the ship. If Odysseus argues in the
future that they should unlash him to fight off the invading ship, then
he would be obeying by a commitment of his previous self and yet the
commitment would be evaluated using a new means of evaluation.

My overall understanding of this is seriously rocky, and I don’t think I
should post this. I am assuming that this contradiction between
previous selves and future selves makes the argument for liberalism
flawed and not as inductive as it should be. Hmm… let me think about
this some more. A major comment through the discourse is that Mill’s
setup is to create an argument that is deductive and all inclusive and
not reliant upon evaluative stances. In other words, his argument is as
base and core to understanding as all other arguments should be. This
is also the appeal. The contents within his argument cannot be disputed
as far as I can tell, it is just the conclusion that raises concern.

And also to structure a system in which i will be updating this information. To begin with, I will in fact be updating my blog more readily. I have instituted a plan that will ensure that at least twice a week the blog will be updated.

The reason for lack of bloging is that since i’ve begun searching for jobs, my free time is spent divided between fun things and redoing my resume/coverletter and searching for more job opportunities.

Before i continue, let me take a moment and make a statement. Katrina was a horrendous occurance for the south-eastern portion of Louisiana, and in a small way I was pleased my family had escaped unscathed. Then Rita stepped up.

My family is currently living out of the Hilton in Lafayette. The future of their home is bleak. When Rita struck apparently the storm surge has caused massive flood damage. Spatterings of reports leave very little hope for My family’s home escaping untouched. This means that very possibly, My family will not have a home to go home to. The school my mother teaches at in Henry Louisiana has been flooded, and there is some concern that my father’s office in Intracoastal actually has water inside it (surprising since it was build on piers at least 16 ft above the normal sea level.)

I recieved this news as of Saturday. Let us just hope that this all goes by with the minimalist damage whatsoever. At least my family is still in one piece, and alive. That is certainly one way of looking at it.

ok these are some Future Post Hints:
1) I’ve recently gone to a philosophy colloquiem that discussed the topic entitled, “Liberalism and the psychology behind moral identities.” It was very entertaining but also cryptic to me in some senses. I have to try and rebuild the discussion from my mind and that will take time. It also will require some severe remembering. Anyways, this is my first and foremost project.

2) I will discuss my recent weekend’s events that consist of visiting Washington D.C. I went to the maryland renaissance fair. It was a great time overall. There were some rocky moments, specially driving back with Mary. Sometimes we just cannot talk to each other in a manner the other finds attractive. It always escalates into something that shouldn’t happen. All the same, i’m sure no long term feelings were hurt. All that is necessary is that we should spend a couple days apart. (Weeks? perhaps months? teee-heee….)

3)Third topic of discourse will be about yojimbo and Kirosawa’s filming techniques. I will attempt to analyze this movie in a manner that is a search for his artistic streak.

Once you get out of practice, its hard to get back into the grove.

On the eve that Katrina struck, i was talking to my mom about how bad New Orleans would take to the effect. People around my office were chiding about how the city was like a great big bowl, and if the water broke the levee, there would be complete disaster. These were often followed by statements regarding the nature that is New Orleans. (In case you are oblivious to New Orlean’s major acknowledgements -> Debauchery and sin are a few trademarks of that historical city.)

After the hurricane struck and the devastation was truley measured, the attitude in my office changed drastically. They acknowledge and paid concerns about my family’s well-being, and they also shared in the disbelief that such a tragedy could occur.

Why is it we feign ( or at least feign the feign ) forgettfullness about our recent history. I got lost in that last sentence let me begin anew. Why is it that we predict things accurately, but when our predictions come true we find solace in feigning our intellectual predicitions? Why is it better to act like we were blind-sided then actually take responsibility for predicting and failing to follow through with the actions?

I was learning aboout New Orlean’s future failure in 6th grade. My louisiana history/sociology/social studies class was talking about the history of the Mississippi river and how it would change course one day causing New Orleans to flood immensly in the transition. We also talked about how the levees strangle the revitalization efforts of the floods and cause coastal errosion. (the exact mechanics is that much like Egypt and the Nile, Louisiana was built by the mississippi flooding and depositing soil deposits [poigniant name] on the ground which built up the land around it and created very fertile land, by creating levees we have quelled the flooding and therefore the coastline is still deteriorating and the gulf is carrying the sediment elsewhere.) We talked about the sea level and how far below New Orleans is exactly, usually coupled with a discussion of how high mount everest is comparatively.

In the end what do we gain from assigning blame one way or the other. I wonder how much humanity learns from their mistakes. Will we build New Orleans “bigger better faster and stronger”? minus the faster part. Or will we cut corners again and simply create a reasonable facsimilie because in the end who lives in New Orleans? It certainly doesn’t house the rich. They are on the east coast and the west coast. Gulf coast has no real monetary gain except for it’s oil industry.

My final thought of the night comes down the political wrangling caused by the current onslaught. So many people want to blame President Bush for the failure we face, i blame the people who voted for him. When they voted for Bush, they voted to stay in Iraq “till it was finished”, and for our country to continue to ignore environmental awareness. (i know let me explain this last part. There is some arguments going around, the same arguments that have been flowing for the last couple years, that this is an effect of “global warming”. Most environmental scientists agree “global warming” is happening. The disagreement is over the cause. Is it a natural life cycle for the planet to go through? Did human development/pollution cause an expedited version of the threat? I don’t know personally, and i believe the evidence is not conclusive either way. What i’m angry about now is the current trend in gas prices and how we say we want alternative fuel sources and yet we fail to vote for representation that will make such desires occur. Is this a rant? It feels very rant-like. I don’t even pay gas. I just see that people will lose jobs because they can’t pay for fuel and ergo cannot go to work to make more money, but the economy builds checks and balances right? maybe people will get jobs closer to home, maybe they will develop alt. fuel sources. I don’t know. All the same. My point is that Global warming is occuring, and that doesn’t seem to be controversial.

So is bush to blame? I haven’t a clue and i could care less, we can’t impeach him right now, so lets just wait out the rest of the four years and elect someone who fits more with my ideals. Vague? Well its my blog, so i can be vague. Perhaps i will enlighten you one day about my ideals. And no they aren’t clear and concise.

It is a spiffy computer. Lots of speed and the best part is it isn’t nearly as loud nor hot as my last computer chassi.

New Orleans was seriously hit hard. I’m not surprised of course, and i feel horrible about the devastation. It is a very tragic scene, i’m very pleased my family and friends are safe and sound.

I plan to begin regularly updating now. At least once or twice a week. I got off of work early today because of labor day next monday. I also don’t have to go to work then either. All-In-All, i’m very pleased with my current setting.

I visited with Weatherly Thursday night. She is doing very well, aside from some “urban” difficuties like holes in the bathroom floor giving a clear view of the apartment below you, and difficulty with driving and directions. All of these “difficulties” will fade though. She has enough experience i believe from her previous visits to be more acclimated to the environments up here.

I’m going to do a post soon about something other then myself. (WHOO!) I know this will be dissappointing to some (meaning mom) and pleasing to others (meaning everyone else), but it simply must be done. I saw an article in the New Yorker (shown to me by Mary) about language and truth. The article read like a freshmen exploration through epistemology. It was interesting, except I am not exactly sure i agree with some of their statements.

All the same, it was a nice read. It made me want to get the article on bullshit and read it.